Comments on: A jiggly bowl of guilt

By: Jamie

Jamie — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 15:29:00 +0000

I can relate to so much of this!
First, the baking and devouring. It must be the housewifey thing to do. Then then exercise must follow because no woman needs that many chocolate chip cookies.
Second, the only thing baby and I do together during the day is go out and 'run errands' aka: spend money. That we don't have.
And most importantly, Avery and I need a small break from each other once in a while too... If only I could find something to do that would make money, not waste it. Hhmmm, I will let you know when I find that one.

Oh and about the gym, I would REALLY inspect the person in charge at the gym daycare, that would make me WAY nervous.

Good luck, I know you will figure out what is best for you both.

By: New Mama's Nest

New Mama's Nest — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 05:16:00 +0000

Give it a go and see what you both think! Taking care of yourself is the best way to give back to Sam, anyway (am I just rationalizing with you here?) I know how you feel though- X is 9 1/2 months and I’ve never left him with anyone - not even my husband… taking a shower without him is about as far a I’ve gone … and I’ve been thinking I might just be ready for a bit of a break. Let me know how it goes - I may just have to let you try things out for me:)

By: Sugarmama

Sugarmama — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 03:19:00 +0000

Jeez, that whole last paragraph could’ve been stolen from my life and my head!

I can’t answer the question about mommy guilt, but I can whole-heartedly endorse the idea that you DO need a little time to yourself each week (if not each day) in order to be the best mama you can be. You DO need a break if you’re taking care of your son for that many hours each day. Of course you love him dearly, but you just need a break! Nothing to feel guilty about, in my humble opinion.

Oh, and as for gym daycare, I’d start him sooner rather than later. I’ve waited til my little one is 17-months old and she’s totally onto when I try to leave. She begins crying and screaming the second I start to sidle away from her while too obviously pointing out an interesting toy. If you start them earlier, they adjust more easily I think.

By: Christina

Christina — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 23:59:00 +0000

Sounds like a great idea to me! I was just about to do the same, but then I got pregnant, and now I have no energy to go to the gym. For now I’m holding off, but once the new baby is here, I’m signing up for sure, just to get some time to myself and the promise of a shower in peace.

By: Mama D

Mama D — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:58:00 +0000

That’s awesome Beth. You do deserve the time to yourself and shouldn’t feel guilty about it. (if only it were that easy right?) I am currently paying for a gym membership that I am not using. Smart. I think now with Peter’s new job I might be able to go when he gets home. I seriously have to figure something out.

I really hope Sam enjoys the time playing with the other kids and doesn’t cry. That is the worst. I’ll be thinking about you guys.

By: sari

sari — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 22:30:00 +0000

“Seriously…it’s not like you need some extra time to pick up your crack rocks or something.”

I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve read all day!!

By: Mir

Mir — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:50:00 +0000

STROLLERCIZE!!!

I tell you what, I tried it once. I thought "I'm a big, tough mama. I can whip these ladies. I ride through the mud for fun!!" But....

My experience was a bit like yours -- lots of revealing spandex and pricey strollers. Yeowch.

Anyhow, the most impressive part was that AFTER the class? I was still feeling cocky. The next morning, however, not so much. OOOOOOWWWWIE!

Unfortunately, I found the ladies in my class to be as polite and socially adept to new people as you did, and nixed the idea of paying almost $50 a month doing something I could do for free and in the company of someone who didn't look down their nose at me. Actually, he looks straight up and usually has an adoring smile.

And that's MUCH better.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 20:29:00 +0000

You will be a better mother if you’re able to unwind plus you’ll have more energy to devote back to the tot if you’re working out.

Yes, I’m helping you rationalize…because I’m an enabler…and because it’s the right thing to do.

Seriously…it’s not like you need some extra time to pick up your crack rocks or something.

Do it and enjoy without guilt.

By: sari

sari — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 18:51:00 +0000

Funny, we all seem to feel the same way. I had a really hard time when my youngest was about two, because I quit my job to stay home with him and his 3-1/2 year old brother…so why was I going bonkers, being home all day with them both?

Because, as we’ve read above, being a Mom is a 24-hour a day job. You don’t just shut it off and quit doing it for a while, you’re always on the guard, watching out for them, taking care of them, playing with them…them, them, them!!

And I love my two little boys more than anything on God’s Green Earth, they definately are the biggest blessings in my life, along with my husband. But once in a while, I like to be just Sari, and not mom.

Once in a while.

By: Allie

Allie — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 16:55:00 +0000

Hi Beth,

As you know from reading many of my multiple posts, I often suffer from Mommy guilt too. It is okay - we are good mommies.

Mommies do need breaks (although I would rather poke my eyes with hot needles that admit that), as it is good for both the babe and mom. You may find that the gym is not the right thing, but keep on searching. There is something out there that will totally appeal to both you and Sam.

And, as a previous poster said, Sam will likely cry the first couple of times. It will break your heart and fill you full of guilt. Perhaps the two of you could start out with 20 minutes to 1/2 hour first and then gradually work yourself up to an hour or two if you wish.

Good luck. At first it is not easy, but the rewards will show forth soon for the both of you.