Being a social worker I have worked with a lot of bullies in my day, and I found that sometimes they really just don’t know where the boundaries are. I think that it is perfectly acceptable to set up some boundaries, by saying in a calm, but firm voice, “You need to share.” By saying this you are not discipling or the other children, you are parenting your own. You are showing him how to be assertive and you are giving him the message that he is important enough to be treated with respect also.

I don’t think you can expect all parents to be as attentive, for hundreds of reasons. I wouldn’t reprimand another child, but what I do is let my boy know that not everyone is raised properly and sometimes people can be rude, mean, clueless, careless, etc.

One recent incident that comes to mind is from a recent trip to a local theme park. We were waiting on line, rather impatiently, for a fire-engine ride. There was a clear line, but there’s a backdoor entrance (actually, the exit), and by the time my son was ready to ascend the engine, other parents had let their kids go up the back way. I didn’t want to be that guy who either says to the kids or the parents of the kids, ‘Hey, it’s my son’s turn.’ I think I’m better than that, frankly. So that’s what I told my son–that not everyone is considerate and that we would be better than they were. And when he finally got his turn, we told him how proud we were of his patience and bought him a treat on the way out.

Did I handle it right? I’m not sure.

Not the best way to handle the situation, I freely admit. I can’t stand indifferent parents.

You are right when you say you were both bullied. You were.

It’s ok to say things over-loudly to let a parent hear you talking to their kids.

I’d never ever talk to a parent in a rude tone or indignation cuz someday, trust me, that rude little kid could verrrrrry easily be yours and you could verrrrry easily be caught unaware and slightly checked out!

I can think of several ways to handle this (none of which I probably would have done at the time. I likely would have left also because I’d be too upset to think of a response)

You could use it as a teaching moment for Sam and say to him, “Oh, I see you don’t have any cars to play with. That’s not fair. Maybe you could ask that nice girl/boy to share one with you?” Then help him as necessary to ask the other child for what he wants.

Alternatively you can say this loud enough for the parents to overhear. I’m assuming they simply weren’t paying any attention. The kids’ response to The Look indicate that they know better and were just seeing what they could get away with. You might need to repeat several variations before the parents get a clue. “I see that boy grabbed that car from you. Grabbing is rude. If you still want to play with it, you can ask him to give it back.

In other situations, I’ve said to my child “I’m sorry you aren’t able to play here because of how those children are behaving. Let’s go find a store employee to remind them that the toy is here for everyone to use.” You’d be amazed how quickly the other children decide they are done playing.

Then there is the direct approach of just talking to the parents. Say, “My son really wants to play with the train. I know your children are having fun with all the cars, but could you ask if they let my son have a few too?”

My last choice would be to confront the children directly. This might put the parents on the defensive. Badly behaved children often have badly behaved parents.