I just want some earrings!
I’m standing in the shower - one of two regular length showers I get each week due to the weekend and Hubby being home - and I think I hear some crying and maybe some screaming. I wonder if I should call out and see if he needs help with Sam or find out if Sam has been hurt. I decide he’ll come and let me know if he needs me. Besides, sometimes I imagine hearing Sam when I’m in the shower and we’re home alone throughout the week, so maybe the noises I hear are just the weird water noises that are good at creating scary mental images for a paranoid mom.
Then Hubby comes in and says, “Does he want me to do something specific when he holds a piece of scotch tape up to his ear like he’s listening to it?”
“Oh, yeah he wants you to stick it to his ear lobe like an earring,” I say.
“Thank you!”
And the door is shut, the odd crying/screaming sound stops, and I take the rest of my shower in peace, picturing Sam holding tape up to his ear and screeching at his father who must be desperately trying to figure out what this toddler is trying to tell him. Earrings Dad, duh.
you need to write a weekend guidebook. I always think I hear things when I’m in the shower, too. The most common is the telephone, except I know it can’t be real because I rarely get calls.
Comment by Valarie — December 9, 2006 @ 5:45 pm
Isn’t that hilarious when you realize that you’ve become this total expert on your toddler’s oddball behaviour? I’m always telling people “She wants you to do (fill in the blank)” and they give me this look like I’m in desperate need of more adult company.
Comment by Beck — December 9, 2006 @ 7:52 pm
Ha!! My daughter just had her ears pierced and she has to put tape or bandaids on them to play soccer. I’m glad to hear that someone thinks this is a desirable condition! Your hubby gets snaps for not freakin’ out and checking Sam’s toenails for polish
Comment by Cmommy — December 9, 2006 @ 9:35 pm
Hilarious!! We have things like that with Eli also..my husband is often saying “What does he want me to do?”
Comment by Eli's Mom — December 10, 2006 @ 7:55 am
That’s just perfect. Not only do I relate to the “only 2 showers of regular length a week” thing, but I also relate to the “so when he does this, what does he want?” thing.
My hubby watches the kids on Fridays and Saturdays while I work and my phone must ring 25 times each day for similar questions.
“where are her (fill in name of piece of clothing/toy)?
“What does (fill in name of action/ unintelligible word here) mean?”
I also think it’s pretty hysterical when hubby calls me at least a few times each shift with joy and beaming pride in his voice to tell me that one of the kids said or did something he finds incredible ….. like I was unaware they were capable of it. He is of the mindset that if it’s the first time he’s seen it, it must be the first time it’s happened. I just say “Wow, that’s great, wish i was there!” now instead of bursting his bubble to tell him that I saw it 50 times already the week before!
Comment by Jenifer — December 10, 2006 @ 8:22 am
I always find it freaky when Peter says to me “Oh, that means she wants you to chase her.” I’m always like, “You are seriously telling me, the person who spends the majority of the time with her, what she wants.” But it’s true. We each have totally different things that we do with her.
How in the world did you start playing the ‘earing game’?
Comment by Mama D — December 10, 2006 @ 6:02 pm
Hilarious! Now where did he get the tape/earring idea from anyway?
I always think I hear the phone ringing while I am in the shower!!!
Comment by Adventures In Babywearing — December 10, 2006 @ 9:39 pm
That is so funny! My son is just starting to get into the tantrums and I can totally see him doing something like this. Good thing you were there to “translate” for your husband!
Comment by Mommy off the Record — December 11, 2006 @ 1:00 am
LMBO!!!! I love those obscure little things that appease them. Kids are funny.
For me it is the doorbell that I always think I am hearing.
Comment by Stephanie — December 11, 2006 @ 1:02 am
Your husband gets a star, just for trying. The toddler mommy world is such a unique, special place.
Comment by Nicole — December 11, 2006 @ 2:29 am
I always hear the screaming, too.
I love your story!
Comment by sari — December 11, 2006 @ 8:43 am
oh the things we can think we hear while in the shower.
poor dads always having to catch up on the latest thing!
your comment on my Weird Things post was SO funny!!! thank you for that. i actually did laugh out loud!
Comment by kate — December 11, 2006 @ 9:52 am
p.s. in that post about global warming i mentioned my totally granola hippie liberal college, then i deleted it. when i read your comment, i thought maybe i really hadn’t deleted it. but it turns out it is just another weird coincidence between us. so, did we go to the same college? was yours in vermont by any chance?
Comment by kate — December 11, 2006 @ 9:55 am
Where would those men be if we weren’t there to translate for them?
Comment by Mrs. Chicky — December 11, 2006 @ 1:07 pm
LOL! That was so funny. I’m looking forward to the silly things kids do. Someday…
Comment by Ali Kat — December 11, 2006 @ 5:33 pm
moms are the ultimate translators!
Comment by smartmama — December 12, 2006 @ 3:13 am
Ah, the secret language of babies.
Comment by emma — December 12, 2006 @ 2:54 pm
Loved that story. Mommys are the best. They know EVERYTHING!! Well, most of the time.
I always hear yells for mommy in the shower, except mine are always real. Bummer!
Comment by Nicole — December 12, 2006 @ 5:28 pm
Tape for an earring? Cute. My boys ALWAYS had to have chapstick when I was applying make-up. As long as it wasn’t glittery, hubby didn’t care!
Comment by Tracey — December 12, 2006 @ 10:22 pm
LOL! That is completely funny!
Comment by Rachelle — December 13, 2006 @ 2:48 pm
I ALWAYS hear phantom screaming and crying while I shower. Nice to know that if I’m nuts? I’m in good company!
Comment by bon — December 13, 2006 @ 6:04 pm
Ha! Duh, Dad! I’m with you on the phantom crying…even when Xav is in the shower with me!
Comment by New Mama's Nest — December 14, 2006 @ 1:50 pm