Comments on: Embracing the Inner Housewife http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html Tons of feathery layers. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 06:53:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: Total Mom Haircut » A Week of Winter Morning Activities http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1647 Total Mom Haircut » A Week of Winter Morning Activities Tue, 24 Apr 2007 18:37:16 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1647 [...] I realized that the previous post has very little to do with actually “Embracing the Inner Housewife,” as its title suggests. Instead, it reflects my seeming inability to do so. So last week I decided to suck it up and see what would happen if I tried to be more active with Sam, both indoors and out, no matter how much energy it might take or how much clean up would result. And I have to say, it was a much better week. Not all of the activities we did were great, nor will they all be repeated any time soon, but having more to do really helped us both through yet another crappy weather week. So here are a few suggestions I have for those of you biting your nails waiting for the sun to emerge as you stare at your toddler for the 8th hour that day and proceed to push that train around the track the 6,787th time. [...] […] I realized that the previous post has very little to do with actually “Embracing the Inner Housewife,” as its title suggests. Instead, it reflects my seeming inability to do so. So last week I decided to suck it up and see what would happen if I tried to be more active with Sam, both indoors and out, no matter how much energy it might take or how much clean up would result. And I have to say, it was a much better week. Not all of the activities we did were great, nor will they all be repeated any time soon, but having more to do really helped us both through yet another crappy weather week. So here are a few suggestions I have for those of you biting your nails waiting for the sun to emerge as you stare at your toddler for the 8th hour that day and proceed to push that train around the track the 6,787th time. […]

]]> By: Emma http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1646 Emma Mon, 23 Apr 2007 19:47:56 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1646 We make the choices that feel right for us. You are right to feel proud about that smoothie, and for putting some things on hold for the benefit of your kid(s). I'm on the other end of the spectrum, wondering whether I should've taken a few years off from work, or whether Ella would've grown better had I been at home full time. I guess we always wonder a little whether the grass truly is greener on the other side. But, I am happy with my shade of green. It might not be a perfect shade of green, but it's a green that I can live with and be proud of. I'm sure you feel the same way. ;) We make the choices that feel right for us. You are right to feel proud about that smoothie, and for putting some things on hold for the benefit of your kid(s).

I’m on the other end of the spectrum, wondering whether I should’ve taken a few years off from work, or whether Ella would’ve grown better had I been at home full time.

I guess we always wonder a little whether the grass truly is greener on the other side. But, I am happy with my shade of green. It might not be a perfect shade of green, but it’s a green that I can live with and be proud of. I’m sure you feel the same way. ;)

]]> By: Jamie http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1644 Jamie Mon, 23 Apr 2007 02:07:29 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1644 I have these same feelings just about daily. I too have a college degree and worked before children entered my life. I love my kids and do love my life but a lot of times I wish that I had more. I have these same feelings just about daily. I too have a college degree and worked before children entered my life. I love my kids and do love my life but a lot of times I wish that I had more.

]]> By: Michelle http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1641 Michelle Thu, 19 Apr 2007 01:28:31 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1641 I tend to feel the guilt because I don't like playing with my kids. I cook for them, read to them, talk with them but don't like getting down and playing. That's my husband's department. Creative, stimulating play you say? Don't know how to do it. I tend to feel the guilt because I don’t like playing with my kids. I cook for them, read to them, talk with them but don’t like getting down and playing. That’s my husband’s department. Creative, stimulating play you say? Don’t know how to do it.

]]> By: kate http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1640 kate Wed, 18 Apr 2007 22:18:23 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1640 i've never been what you would call "a career person." i never had a job i loved. never felt like i was really meant to do something or really good at something in particular. until i became a mom. i've never felt i was good at something so rewarding and important before. that being said, i also have a lot creative energy and low tolerance for pushing the train around the track. (i often remember mr. mom when michael keaton talks about his brain turning to mush. i can so relate.) so, i created my onesie business. because i needed to do something else. something was just my own. something that i could identify myself with in addition to "mommy." maybe you could find something work-like to do in the home. work on your novel, maybe? i also took a job as a part-time nanny. i take care of another boy almost b's age for 3 hours a day. it was necessary financially (not that it makes me THAT much money, but. . .) and what i didn't realize was that it would be SO good for me and bb. he has someone OTHER THAN ME to play with on a regular basis. sometimes it's a pain in the ass, but mostly, it's great. he's learned to share and how to be considerate of another kid. he's learned to cooperate and he's had someone to play with who ALWAYS wants to do the same stuff he does. i fully recommend a regular playdate. or finding a mom who needs care for her child once in a while. someone to befriend sam, maybe? or a few toddlers whose moms would want to do a playgroup with you. you could rotate houses or something. this might not be helpful, but i'm so sympathetic to the plight of the stay at home mom. sometimes i wonder how i'll do it all again. do you? finally getting bb off to school and here comes another! buckle up. i’ve never been what you would call “a career person.” i never had a job i loved. never felt like i was really meant to do something or really good at something in particular. until i became a mom. i’ve never felt i was good at something so rewarding and important before. that being said, i also have a lot creative energy and low tolerance for pushing the train around the track. (i often remember mr. mom when michael keaton talks about his brain turning to mush. i can so relate.)

so, i created my onesie business. because i needed to do something else. something was just my own. something that i could identify myself with in addition to “mommy.” maybe you could find something work-like to do in the home. work on your novel, maybe?

i also took a job as a part-time nanny. i take care of another boy almost b’s age for 3 hours a day. it was necessary financially (not that it makes me THAT much money, but. . .) and what i didn’t realize was that it would be SO good for me and bb. he has someone OTHER THAN ME to play with on a regular basis. sometimes it’s a pain in the ass, but mostly, it’s great. he’s learned to share and how to be considerate of another kid. he’s learned to cooperate and he’s had someone to play with who ALWAYS wants to do the same stuff he does.

i fully recommend a regular playdate. or finding a mom who needs care for her child once in a while. someone to befriend sam, maybe? or a few toddlers whose moms would want to do a playgroup with you. you could rotate houses or something.

this might not be helpful, but i’m so sympathetic to the plight of the stay at home mom.

sometimes i wonder how i’ll do it all again. do you? finally getting bb off to school and here comes another! buckle up.

]]> By: Nicole http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1637 Nicole Tue, 17 Apr 2007 19:50:16 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1637 I am so right there with you. Eli has good days of playing independantly, or rather good pieces of time within a day, but for teh most part he wants interaction a lot too...more than i can give or want to give. And I feel guilty about that because, like you said, so many mommies would LOVE to stay at home and play with their little ones all day. But i really feel if I did that then he wouldn't have any sense of self-reliance, kwim? You're doing a great job...like you said, you made him and he seems to be happy :) (Just wanted to let you know you're not alone in these feelings.) I am so right there with you. Eli has good days of playing independantly, or rather good pieces of time within a day, but for teh most part he wants interaction a lot too…more than i can give or want to give. And I feel guilty about that because, like you said, so many mommies would LOVE to stay at home and play with their little ones all day. But i really feel if I did that then he wouldn’t have any sense of self-reliance, kwim? You’re doing a great job…like you said, you made him and he seems to be happy :) (Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in these feelings.)

]]> By: Alli http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1636 Alli Tue, 17 Apr 2007 18:46:20 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1636 Just popping in to say hello, congrats on the second baby boy (you'll love watching them be brothers) and to tell you I'm the same way as a "housewife". My house is less than clean and cooking and crafts hardly happen around here. And when they do, they leave a lot to be desired. {{hugs}} Just popping in to say hello, congrats on the second baby boy (you’ll love watching them be brothers) and to tell you I’m the same way as a “housewife”. My house is less than clean and cooking and crafts hardly happen around here. And when they do, they leave a lot to be desired. {{hugs}}

]]> By: amy http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1635 amy Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:12:12 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1635 Hi. I've lurked here for a while. I found my way from Lifenut. The issues you raise are real and I think all moms struggle to find the right balance. But, please don't think a college degree is wasted if you're not employed. College broadens and reshapes a student's mind, it's made you a different woman and a different mom than you would have been without an education. You've been outside the home and you chose to be in it, you have the choice, and while the freedom to chose may feel like a burden, life without it would be stifling. You are an economic peer to your husband, if you choose you could go out and earn as much as him, that gives you so much more freedom and a stronger safety net than women from earlier generations. Having said that, I have days where I wish I'd taken home ec in high school instead of another science elective. I feel like the hidden secrets to cooking and cleaning with ease must have been shared in that class. . . Hi. I’ve lurked here for a while. I found my way from Lifenut. The issues you raise are real and I think all moms struggle to find the right balance. But, please don’t think a college degree is wasted if you’re not employed. College broadens and reshapes a student’s mind, it’s made you a different woman and a different mom than you would have been without an education. You’ve been outside the home and you chose to be in it, you have the choice, and while the freedom to chose may feel like a burden, life without it would be stifling. You are an economic peer to your husband, if you choose you could go out and earn as much as him, that gives you so much more freedom and a stronger safety net than women from earlier generations. Having said that, I have days where I wish I’d taken home ec in high school instead of another science elective. I feel like the hidden secrets to cooking and cleaning with ease must have been shared in that class. . .

]]> By: sari http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1633 sari Mon, 16 Apr 2007 22:37:50 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1633 I chose to stay home when my second was born, and I felt the same way. Your post could have been written by me. I finally (when Five was about 2-1/2) got a part time job, just to get out of the house a bit and rejuvenate my brain. It helped me recharge so I could enjoy being home again, though I do admit I don't feel like I do enough "for them" even though I'm with them all the time. Don't be so down on yourself right now. You're pregnant and stuck home a lot and that's a perfectly normal way to feel. I'm grateful I can be home with my kids because my parents weren't lucky enough to be able to do that when I was young, and I know my boys will remember it when they are grown. We do a lot of coloring (not painting) and picture find books. Five especially loves I Spy books, which you can get at the library and are great for them. I hope you're feeling better soon! I chose to stay home when my second was born, and I felt the same way. Your post could have been written by me. I finally (when Five was about 2-1/2) got a part time job, just to get out of the house a bit and rejuvenate my brain. It helped me recharge so I could enjoy being home again, though I do admit I don’t feel like I do enough “for them” even though I’m with them all the time.

Don’t be so down on yourself right now. You’re pregnant and stuck home a lot and that’s a perfectly normal way to feel. I’m grateful I can be home with my kids because my parents weren’t lucky enough to be able to do that when I was young, and I know my boys will remember it when they are grown.

We do a lot of coloring (not painting) and picture find books. Five especially loves I Spy books, which you can get at the library and are great for them.

I hope you’re feeling better soon!

]]> By: Mama D http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1632 Mama D Mon, 16 Apr 2007 20:30:53 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2007/04/15/embracing-the-inner-housewife.html#comment-1632 I know how lucky I am to be able to do both stay at home AND work. Although sometimes I'd just like to stay home. If there is one thing I am learning the older I get - it's that none of us are ever totally happy all the time. No matter how good things are we always wish for something more, something better. It's just our nature. Dumb, huh? Someday when Sam is like 20 and he tells you "Mom, I used to love it when you played trains with me." then it will really feel worth it. xo I know how lucky I am to be able to do both stay at home AND work. Although sometimes I’d just like to stay home. If there is one thing I am learning the older I get - it’s that none of us are ever totally happy all the time. No matter how good things are we always wish for something more, something better. It’s just our nature. Dumb, huh?

Someday when Sam is like 20 and he tells you “Mom, I used to love it when you played trains with me.” then it will really feel worth it.

xo

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