Two years ago today Hubby and I faced a perplexing quandary. It was our first holiday with a baby. Sam was born in May, so he was almost 2 months old and we had no idea what to do for the 4th of July. We knew fireworks were not an option, but it felt wrong to do nothing to celebrate his first potential festivity. It didn’t help that he was the fussiest baby we had ever seen or heard of in our entire lives. Come to think of it, we were probably totally crazed at the time due to lack of sleep and the ring of constant screaming in our ears. Whoever said colic was generally limited to an evening “witching hour” wasn’t even close with this kid. Anyway, there was much conversation about what we could handle at the time. If we drove somewhere would Sam scream the whole time, if we had to park far away what would we do if he started to scream in his stroller or carrier and the car was too far away, would it be way more trouble than it was worth, etc? We decided it was his first holiday and we had to do something. Really I think we needed to at least attempt some sort of normalcy for our own sanity at the time. We decided to drive up to Evanston (this was back when we were still in Chicago) where they would be having fireworks in the evening and we would just walk around before they started so we could at least see others celebrating and maybe there would even be some early music/food/family activity. On the drive up it started to rain. And then Sam fell asleep in the car, which was unheard of. It was our first moment of quiet in 2 months. And so for that 4th of July Hubby and I drove around and talked to each other, that’s right - we actually spoke to each other - for the first time since having a baby. We did that until he woke up and started screaming. I have no idea if the fireworks were canceled or not.

One year ago today we were at my in-laws’ house in Connecticut. We were debating whether or not Sam might be up for fireworks that year. We discussed how we would handle it logistically if he freaked out or was scared, how we’d get home quickly, was it too far of a walk to the park, was it worth keeping him up late, etc. In the midst of the debate/as we tried to explain why this would not be easy to my in-laws, it started to rain. Soon after they canceled the fireworks at the park and rescheduled them for the weekend when we would be back at our house. From what I remember my in-laws ended up going out to a movie that night, leaving the house to us after Sam was asleep, for a moment of quiet as we listened to neighbors setting off their own fireworks.

Today we woke up with every intention of hitting some serious firework action. We weren’t sure if Sam would enjoy them or be terrified, but we figured it was worth a try. In the morning we went to the zoo, both as a fun activity and also as a means of ensuring that Sam would get tired enough to nap (more on that later - this kid is killing me!). A successful nap was crucial to our firework plan since we knew he be staying up later than normal. Despite our efforts there was no nap. But lucky for us, by this time the weather forecast was then calling for “severe storms” with “potential hail” and a “tornado watch” in our area. Clearly we would not be missing fireworks because there would be none. I posed the possibility of taking Sam to his first movie. I figured Shrek the Third has been out long enough that it might not be too crowded and we certainly had a lot of time on our hands since he’d refused to sleep. So we headed out and for the first 15 minutes of the drive I second guessed myself as to whether or not Sam was ready for a movie theater movie. I wondered if he’d sit longer than 10 minutes or if he’d just want to explore, if there would be anything scary in the movie, if it might give him nightmares, if they’d refund our money should we have to bail, etc. It was at this point that Hubby looked in the rearview mirror and pointed out that Sam was totally asleep. And so Hubby and I spent our second 4th of July driving around in the rain, talking to each other until our baby woke up and stretched and started looking out the window after calmly saying no to my offer of juice.

One year from today we will have a 3 year old and a roughly 10 month old. I wonder what we will be doing. I wonder if we will see fireworks. I wonder what questions I’ll be asking myself about what is appropriate for my kids as far as what they might enjoy, what we can handle logistically, how we should celebrate, etc…I wonder if it will rain, and if my husband and I will drive around in the car with our two sons sleeping in the backseat, us enjoying a fleeting and infrequent moment of quiet and conversation.