Here’s Watcha Don’t Wanna Do - second installment
Number One: If you happen to be pregnant and roaming around the CVS with your toddler and that Eric Clapton “Tears in Heaven” song comes on, you don’t wanna stay there. For the love of God, run - run as fast as you can out of the store because we all remember what that song is about. If you stay, you’ll have to accept that everyone else in the store, including your son (who is also wondering why you are lovingly stroking his cheek and kissing him repeatedly when he just wants to play with the bottle of sunblock), will be wondering why there is a huge pregnant woman aimlessly walking around with tears streaming down her face in the CVS.
Number Two: You’re out on the patio with your toddler, who is happily playing with his sand and water table. You’ve just finished a phone conversation on your cell and now you’ve noticed you have to pee…because you always have to pee…because you are nearly 9 months pregnant. When you get up to run in to the bathroom, you look around the patio to make sure your kid can’t do anything more than over-water your plants while you’re gone. You glance at your cell phone on the other side of the patio and on the ground. And you note how in your current huge state you hate getting things off the ground. And you decide that your son has shown no interest in the phone since being out here so it is ok to leave it there while you run inside.
You know you did the wrong thing while you are sitting there peeing. You just know. So when you get back out onto the patio the first thing you do is look at the spot on the ground where your cell was sitting - empty. And you think perhaps you imagined leaving it out there because obviously you wouldn’t actually do that because it is so incredibly stupid so this must be one of those stories you see being played out in your head that didn’t actually happen. But when you look inside on the desk where you would have put it it’s not there either. You don’t see it anywhere out on the patio and it’s not over the railing. You ask your cherub where your phone is, at which point he goes and retrieves it from his sand and water table, the water side…
You call your husband; he sounds…distant, and not in the emotional sense. And then later it has no picture on the screen. So the phone is taken apart and left to air dry overnight.
So my message to you: don’t stay at the CVS when the saddest freakin’ song in the world comes on, at least not while pregnant, and don’t leave your cell alone with your toddler. Just don’t.
And with that, we are off to the shore tomorrow for a week. I realize that with my infrequent blogging habits as of late no one will even notice this departure, but I figured if I had a good excuse to explain my absence I should take it. Bye Bye.
yeah toddlers and electronics don’t mesh very well!
It doesn’t get much better right after ya give
birth
either.
I was thinking he’d thrown it off that patio and it was smashed into tiny, itty, bitty cell phone parts.
Oooh sorry to hear about your phone! I’m jealous that you got the sand/water table, we opted for just a sandbox and I regret it now… bet you wish you went with just sand
I heart Harold and The Purple Crayon!
(thanks for your encouraging comment on my blog, I appreciate it)
Off to the shore. Sounds so classy! And oh goodness… hope the cell dries out ok!
Steph
So sorry about the song and the phone—I hope it dried successfully and you are enjoying more sand and more water on the shore.
So true and well-written. Hope you are having fun.
Mike
http://somethingaboutparenting.typepad.com/
http://www.mikeleonen.com/
tears in heaven gets switched off of the radio faster than any song ever. i can’t even consider what happened to that poor man for than 5 seconds or i lose it.
uh!
no more of that topic!
have a great time at the beach—-when are you due, anyway?
Oh you’re funny.
yes - that song is brutal! soooo sorry about the cell phone. hope it dries out ok. but at least you made us all laugh.
Beth, you have been missed!! I’ve actually been worried that things were not well in your world. It’s so good to read your thoughts again!
Happy Delivery Day, btw, just in case your next post includes a birth story
I hope you had fun!
I gave my son my cell phone in the grocery store line one day to play with while I checked out. The keypad was “locked” so I figured he couldn’t do anything to it.
Imagine my shock and dismay to find out he had sucked it to a dripping electical mess by the time I had loaded all the groceries onto the counter. I felt horrible, what if he had electrocuted himself? My gosh I’m an idiot. Luckily he was fine and my phone dried out eventually (it wasn’t that great in the first place so I didn’t notice any loss of service, haha) but I learned my lesson there.
Hey Beth, just checking in on you. I can’t believe you’re at the end of this pregnancy! It flew by for me.
Have a great time at the beach.
Oh no! That could so easily have happened to me - as I am also nine months preggo and regularly leave my cell phone unattended near my toddler. Oh, and we have a sand and water table too. (Hey, are we living parallel lives or what? LOL)
Hope the vacation is great, it’ll probably reset you for blogging when you get back.
Ha! Thanks for the laugh! Enjoy your vacation!
Beth… just checking in. How are you doing!?
xoxo
Steph
I love toddlers. Good luck with #2. Of my three, #2 was the easiest post-partum and the most joyful baby. Hopefully you won’t have colicky issues again. (Read your last post.) I’ve heard of people going to chiropractors for this?