My husband sent me this today. It’s an excerpt from a column he reads on a regular basis written by “The Sports Guy.” Sports Guy and his wife recently had their second child, both very close to our children in age. Pretty damn funny. And here’s the rest of the article in case you’d like to see it, although this is all that has to do with parenting.
That reminds me, somebody needs to launch a Web site for anyone thinking about having two or more kids. The Web site would be called “Why Didn’t You Effing Tell Me?” and would include the following features:
The “Why Didn’t You Effing Tell Me?” Blog, in which dads rip into their buddies for not warning them to stick with one kid.
A quote page of deranged things said by mothers melting down as both of their kids were crying at the same time; stuff like, “I swear to God, I’m going to stick this baby in the microwave soon and defrost him!” and “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, YOU WANTED TWO, I WISH YOU WERE DEAD!!!!”
A detailed explanation of my buddy Sully’s 12 Percent Theory, which can be described in one sentence like this: “Assuming women start out at 100 percent on the Sanity Scale, every time she passes a living being out of her body, she becomes 12 percent less sane.” By the way, this is why Hillary Clinton can run for president — she only had one kid, so she’s operating at 88 percent capacity. Still much higher than George W. Bush.
Transcripts of incoherent shouting matches between sleep-deprived parents.
Live webcams featuring streaming video inside the living rooms of families with two or more kids. And before anyone decides to have a second kid, by federal law, they’d have to spend three hours surfing around this Web site.
Ah yes. “Sleep deprived parents” says it all!
Ha Ha…Not funny. Ok a little funny.
Can you tell I have more than one.
HAAAAA!
funny. yes, there’s a LOT about parenting that makes me feel like, “why didn’t someone effin’ tell me that!!?”
seriously, though, i think the 2 kid thing is all about how many years are in between the 2. i don’think i’m “suffering” as much as you since mine are 3 yrs. apart. it’s just easier.
Oh YEah baby this is exactly what I thought when the fish came along! Three is still kicking my booty!