Comments on: When everything’s a battle, it’s hard to find peace http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html Tons of feathery layers. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 06:47:13 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.3 By: sari http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5714 sari Wed, 30 Apr 2008 20:53:00 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5714 I had a hard time adjusting from one child to two. I felt guilty for the amount of attention I was or wasn't paying to one or both of the kids. I will say, going from two to three was NOT a problem, it actually was easier! I had a hard time adjusting from one child to two. I felt guilty for the amount of attention I was or wasn’t paying to one or both of the kids.

I will say, going from two to three was NOT a problem, it actually was easier!

]]> By: Jenn http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5620 Jenn Fri, 25 Apr 2008 19:55:15 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5620 My second one is only 2 weeks old and already I miss it just being my older one and I. I love my new one so much, but often feel like I am neglecting the older one. Mommyhood can be so rewarding but so challenging. Jenn My second one is only 2 weeks old and already I miss it just being my older one and I. I love my new one so much, but often feel like I am neglecting the older one. Mommyhood can be so rewarding but so challenging.

Jenn

]]> By: Allie http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5583 Allie Thu, 24 Apr 2008 01:52:21 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5583 I can totally identify with you and understand your point of view. It is tough. It is tougher than I have every imagined, and in a big move (which we just finished) and ya ... life is hectic, hard and overwhelming at times. But you know what, your children are being loved and know that they mean the world to you. I can totally identify with you and understand your point of view. It is tough. It is tougher than I have every imagined, and in a big move (which we just finished) and ya … life is hectic, hard and overwhelming at times. But you know what, your children are being loved and know that they mean the world to you.

]]> By: Rebecca http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5549 Rebecca Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:47:36 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5549 I don't have any kids, so I can't really relate... but I wanted you to know I read your post and "listened." :) I don’t have any kids, so I can’t really relate… but I wanted you to know I read your post and “listened.” :)

]]> By: amy http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5545 amy Mon, 21 Apr 2008 23:04:16 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5545 All I can say is that I can relate, but as you know things keep changing. I have two and I'm feeling really close to my younger one right now (2) and sort of out of sync with my older one (4), but when my younger one was a little baby, I just remember missing my one on one time with my older one, I felt that for a long time. All I can say is that I can relate, but as you know things keep changing. I have two and I’m feeling really close to my younger one right now (2) and sort of out of sync with my older one (4), but when my younger one was a little baby, I just remember missing my one on one time with my older one, I felt that for a long time.

]]> By: mamacita tina http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5544 mamacita tina Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:27:23 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5544 I totally know where you're coming from. And you're moving too, ugh. I have many, many memories of Ian as a newborn, crawler, etc. But poor Laurel, her time with us is just a blur. But, man, it's been FUN! I totally know where you’re coming from. And you’re moving too, ugh.

I have many, many memories of Ian as a newborn, crawler, etc. But poor Laurel, her time with us is just a blur. But, man, it’s been FUN!

]]> By: tracey http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5542 tracey Mon, 21 Apr 2008 16:25:56 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5542 Well, I don't know that it gets EASIER as they get older, as their problems get bigger, but it does get easier PHYSICALLY. They don't need you to carry, push, lift them, etc. so more of your time with them is spent talking and doing things. We all need reality checks periodically. To take a step back and say "Doh! I'm MISSING this. Gotta pay attention..." And then we do. And that's all that matters. Just paying attention.... Well, I don’t know that it gets EASIER as they get older, as their problems get bigger, but it does get easier PHYSICALLY. They don’t need you to carry, push, lift them, etc. so more of your time with them is spent talking and doing things. We all need reality checks periodically. To take a step back and say “Doh! I’m MISSING this. Gotta pay attention…” And then we do. And that’s all that matters. Just paying attention….

]]> By: Lynanne http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5539 Lynanne Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:24:29 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5539 I feel for you - it's hard dividing your attention between more than one child. For my kids, I'm hoping the experience of being a family with the companionship of their siblings will prepare them for life in ways that being an only child can't (not that there is anything wrong with being an only child.) One thing that someone told me recently is to take a step back and look at the whole rather than just focusing on the individual struggles. You are probably doing a better job than you feel you are. We are always our own worst critic. If it helps you feel better, perhaps you can schedule some one-on-one time with each of the kids every once in a while. I've tried that, but guess what? My son was unhappy because he missed his brother and wanted to share the experience with him. Ooops! Hang in there, it gets easier as the children get older. Then they get busy with their own activities and you wonder where the time goes because they are never around :) I feel for you - it’s hard dividing your attention between more than one child. For my kids, I’m hoping the experience of being a family with the companionship of their siblings will prepare them for life in ways that being an only child can’t (not that there is anything wrong with being an only child.)

One thing that someone told me recently is to take a step back and look at the whole rather than just focusing on the individual struggles. You are probably doing a better job than you feel you are. We are always our own worst critic. If it helps you feel better, perhaps you can schedule some one-on-one time with each of the kids every once in a while. I’ve tried that, but guess what? My son was unhappy because he missed his brother and wanted to share the experience with him. Ooops!

Hang in there, it gets easier as the children get older. Then they get busy with their own activities and you wonder where the time goes because they are never around :)

]]> By: Mama D http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5535 Mama D Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:43:15 +0000 http://www.totalmomhaircut.com/2008/04/20/when-everythings-a-battle-its-hard-to-find-peace.html#comment-5535 I don't think you need to feel sorry. Even though Robby doesn't have your solitary attention the way Sam did, it's all he knows and he's okay with that. And the gift that Sam has in a brother is worth the sacrifice of sharing you with him. I can guess (and soon I will know) how it must feel to be in this situation but I am confident that I am right and we think and worry about this stuff and our kids barely even notice. We do the best we can. (Please remind me of this when I write exactly the same kind of post in a few months.) And battles. Yeah. We (Peter) carried a screaming toddler home from the park yesterday because she didn't want to leave. It's tough. But as Peter reminded me it won't be this hard forever. I don’t think you need to feel sorry. Even though Robby doesn’t have your solitary attention the way Sam did, it’s all he knows and he’s okay with that. And the gift that Sam has in a brother is worth the sacrifice of sharing you with him. I can guess (and soon I will know) how it must feel to be in this situation but I am confident that I am right and we think and worry about this stuff and our kids barely even notice. We do the best we can. (Please remind me of this when I write exactly the same kind of post in a few months.)

And battles. Yeah. We (Peter) carried a screaming toddler home from the park yesterday because she didn’t want to leave. It’s tough. But as Peter reminded me it won’t be this hard forever.

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