Poll for the grossest person at the playground
So there I am, sitting at the MOST AWESOME PLAYGROUND EVER, congratulating Hubby and myself for making the drive and getting there on such a beautiful day without any major mishaps. Robby and I are enjoying the breeze while Sam plays in the huge sandbox with his Dad. Looking around and taking in the view . . . when I look over and what do my eyes behold but another dad helping his son to pee on the fence of the playground. Uh huh. There they are, zippin’ up. Lovely. I mean, yeah, toilet training, but can you really not go another 20 feet to the edge of the woods over there, really? Excellent lesson.
Aaaahhh…summer breeze. Relaaax. Not too hot. Robby loves the breeze and laughs when it blows his hair. Enjoying the day, but then, “This must be the swing for RETARDED PEOPLE!” I look around to see what horrible person has just proclaimed this, expecting to see a delinquent high schooler trying to impress his friends, but no, it’s another dad. He’s talking about one of those big-seated swings that seem to be at all the playgrounds here. Then he sits his abnormally large butt in it and says again, louder this time, “Yeah. It’s a RETARDED PEOPLE SWING. Heh heh. Retarded people.” Um, how about the swing for assholes? The assholes swing. Heh heh. Assholes. I sat there, willing it to break as he tried to push himself higher by yanking on the chain . . .
Breathe. Relaaax. The weather is just perfect. We’ll have to come back here often despite the longish drive. It’s just such a great playground. Robby and I are watching a mom and her daughters fly a butterfly kite. He loves it . . . sniff . . . sniff sniff. Do I smell smoke? Is someone seriously smoking out here? I turn to see behind me a couple laying on a blanket WITH THEIR KIDS, and smoking. On a gorgeous day, with bountiful fresh air. And I’m sitting like 10 feet away and FEEDING my BABY for goodness sake. I refuse to even try and understand this, not because I think they owe it to me, but they’re sitting with their kids . . .
Turning my attention back to the swings. Aahhh. Joyful children, laughing and smiling…no, wait, that one’s crying. In fact she’s sort of petrified looking and sobbing and yelling for her Dad to stop pushing her so high (and believe me, it was really freakin’ high), and yet he continues, telling her “it’s fine.” And the point of this would be . . . what, exactly?
So go ahead - who wins it?
Is it:
a) “Let’s go pee on the fence, son” dad
b) Asshole on a swing
c) Parents who smoke around their kids (and others’ babies at playgrounds on gorgeous days)
d) Asshole pushing a swing
Oh gosh, I only have to pick one? Well, I’d say B gets me the most. So B.
Steph
I don’t know. D bothered me the most I think. I vote D.
D
That’s quite a day to experience all that at one park! This is a very tough choice. At first I thought C but then B is really bad too. I wouldn’t want my kids hearing that and repeating it.
It is a tie between the two assholes. I really do not like it when people call things or people retarded, and the other asshole? I just don’t get it.
Sorry you had to put up with that.
It’s hard to believe there are that many morons in one place! How aggravating! I definitely say the asshole ON the swing…although smoker and pusher are not far behind. I’m glad my husband wasn’t there. He has a bit of a temper and probably would have LOST it on those idiots!
Sounds like you found quite the Assholery. I vote for the mean dad, too. It wasn’t an easy decision.
But—no used condoms, cat turds in the sandbox, foul-mouthed ten year olds, bad words written inside the tube slides, or anyone smoking p*ot downwind?
You haven’t lived until you’ve been to a playground in Boulder, Colorado.
Whoooot!! Living it up at the park with the CLASSY people, eh?
I actually am getting ready to write a similar post today…
e. all of the above!
btw, i tagged you for a meme, but i realize you may have no time for such things!
Heh… I vote for the asshole PUSHING the swing, but as everyone has mentioned… it’s a tough call.
Seriously, a month back I had to be “that mom” and ask the lolling back, rolling about, hot ‘n heavy smooching teens to take it to the far side of the park, away from RIGHT SMACK NEXT to the playground. Turns out they were there “watching” the girl’s little sister who was half heartedly swinging by herself. They left soon after. When did I become “that mom?”
Um, a 4 way tie? I really can’t decide. The pissin’ folks seem to be the lesser offenders among the others.
Wow…total toss-up….swing guy and smoking parents are probably my split-choice though. Smoking most likely wins out cuz it’s not only teaching bad habits to kids, but it’s actually KILLING them too…. Quite a day at the park for you!!
Hhmmmmm….the smoking is rising to the top of the list, for me.
(The boys are growing and looking sooooo handsome!)
Oh that’s all awful. I have a real aversion to people throwing around the word “retard.” That really gets under my skin so that would be my pick. I really wish people would be more cognizant of that, and not just assholes in the park. I’m often surprised at how many moms say things like, “I look like a retard in this,” or whatever. It’s very offensive.
I hope your next day in the park is much more like a day in the park.
People are so freakin inconsiderate. I just hope I do a good enough job raising my kids so they don’t turn out like any of those people. I hope you were able to enjoy some of your visit to the park!
It’s times like this when you wish you had blinders and could be in your own little world.
I vote for the abusive swinger.
Wow, assholes all around. Maybe time to find a new park, or visit at a different time of day?
Grrr. ahh, all in a day at the park right?! I’ll spare you our last trip to the beach.
B gets me. I have a serious issue with that whole bit, but I’m actually going to have to say the smoking. Drives me batty. Our ped calls exposing kids to cigarette smoke child abuse and I’m definitely in that camp too.(Says the girl who grew up with smokies - and asthma/allergies - smoked myself only to see all symptoms disappear promptly upon my quitting/moving… hmmm, imagine that!)
I have to vote for B. Having a “differently-abled” child who needs a swing like that some days leaves me with no patience for people like him.
Although, they all get the nod for their deeds.
I hope your next outing to the park is better.
If I can ask, which park did you go to?
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