Simmer down there, Amanda Peet
So there I am, feeding the kids some lunch and skimming over the August issue of Cookie (gift from the in-laws) and looking over the article about Amanda Peet and infant vaccinations . . . lalalala . . . “target market for the onslaught of baby products . . .,” lalalala . . . “eagerness to envelop her 18-month-old in comfort and security,” . . . lalalala . . . “Frankly, I feel that parents who don’t vaccinate their children are parasites.” . . .
No way. No, she didn’t. Oh, yes, she did. Go on ahead and read it again.
Now before you stop reading because you don’t want to see anything about the vaccine controversy, let me tell you that I’m not about to talk about vaccines. I’m not even going to talk about what I do with my kids regarding that issue. I could talk here about how all of her “research” on this topic was from one source, a person who happens to be on the board of a pro-vaccine organization, and how I don’t consider that to really be an unbiased method of finding answers to important questions like these. But like I said, I’m not going to go there.
You know why? Because I don’t care what Amanda Peet chooses to do with her kids, because it’s none of my freaking business. I know that she is a mom, and I therefore know that she is most likely doing her best to make sense of everthying out there and make the best decision for her family. And if she chooses to vaccinate on schedule then cool. I have friends who take every possible route when it comes to this topic - on schedule, alternate schedule, partially vaccinated, un-vaccinated - and I don’t have any problem with any of their choices, not one iota, because I trust that they have done their research and are making the choices that feel right to them. No, what I have a problem with is moms who feel it appropriate to criticize other moms brutally and publicly.
We’re all doing our best here, Amanda Peet, and in the same way that maybe you don’t appreciate the public bashing your parenting decisions to make your daughter travel/use a nanny/whatever, perhaps you shouldn’t open your yap and call other moms parasites just because they didn’t come to the same conclusion as you. Maybe? Ya think? I mean, I’m sorry, are we back in middle school again and we are going to start name calling anyone who is different from us now? Way to really use your big name and publicity to do some good there, Amanda Peet. You really have set a fine example for moms everywhere.
I hope Amanda Peet’s publicist has his hands on his cheeks, mouth agape as he repeats to himself, “Oh Crap.” He should, because as a fellow mom (because we are all fellow moms in this together, here), who knows how hard being a mom and making difficult decisions for my family every single day really is, that woman should know better. Now get your smug face off my desk, Amanda Peet.
***Edited to add: The day after posting this I was contacted by a woman at Cookie, who directed me to Amanda Peet’s public apology.
Oh dear…
:/
here here!
it’s always astounding to me that moms can go after each other and each other’s choices. there really is something to the “if you can’t say something nice…”
i mean, i do realize that A.P. was probably being a protective mama lion and looking out for her cub. that can be a powerful feeling. she really believes she is doing the best right thing.
and so do those who do not vaccinate. we’re all protective mama lions just trying to keep our little ones alive and thriving.
and frankly, we’re in it together.
I agree…..totally. The only thing each and every one of us has in common is being a Mom. Other than that, we all raise our children differently. Just because your opinion is different, THAT BY NO MEANS gives you the right to judge others.
PULEEZE! Amanda Peet is on my shit list now!
I agree… but I think too that she is a new mom, and sometimes new mom’s learn things about their babies and they get really passionate. I can’t help but wonder if she hasn’t really taken a lot of crap for her position and so this blanket statement ended up being more defensive than it appears. Even so, she needs to make a public, sincere, apology…
Oh, I might regret coming out of long time lurkerhood for this, but I can’t resist. Regardless of the harshness of her comment, the truth is that unvaccinated kids do benefit from other kids being vaccinated due to herd immunity (likely what she meant by parasite). Also, there is potential for someone else’s decision not to vaccinate their child to undermine your children’s health. We will be in a very scary place if a critical mass of parents begin to think that their decisions only affect their family.
Feel free not to respond, I have no desire to debate - just offer an alternative perspective.
-Kate Bauer (public health researcher, ex-college roommate and mom in 13 or so days)
Yikes! “Parasites” is completely inflammatory and uncalled for.
She’s certainly free to disagree with another mom’s choice, but she should exercise restraint and wisdom when the topic is discussed. Does she honestly think calling another human a “parasite” will endear them to her cause? Will it make them leap on her bandwagon?
She probably doesn’t care. Free publicity, right?
With a preface that I don’t think moms should make such a vocal practice of bashing one another’s choices (as Rodney King once said, “Can’t we all just get along?), in a way, while I don’t think her word choice was the most judicious, I do kind of admire her for going out on a limb with a VERY unpopular in Hollywood decision….same way I admire Garcelle Beauvais Nilon for “outing herself” in that she decided not to breastfeed her new twins.
Now why we as a populace are all (or the media is all) fascinated with the celebrities’ parenting choices that are personally THEIRS, I am not so sure; but the fact that Amanda Peet was willing to state unapologetically her perspective (and face the ire of many others in her professional circle) I do kind of give her some big ups….as I do Jenny McCarthy for raising her perspectives. Think both feel strongly that the harsh words (e.g. parasites) could be done without, but like it or not, celeb moms do have influence over more people than we care to imaging, so I appreciate all sides of controversial parenting issues (as in politics or any other arena) having some celebrity advocates.
Sorry for all the typos….getting snacks simultaneously…now if only a celeb would support those of us who don’t always make the best snack choices for our children….
I’ve commented on this before, but must say again- clearly she doesn’t know someone that has had a child damaged from vaccines. Would she call those people parasites… for real? I doubt it. At least I hope not! And I have to also point out this- there is NO PROOF that the unvaccinated benefit from the vaccinated. I do not believe that, so therefore, in no way do I feel my children are benefiting from those that are vaccinated “for the greater good.”
Steph
Wow… yeah.
Those who feel that there are absolutes in parenting… well they just kinda blow my mind! Like you, I have friends who’s co-sleeping/feeding/vaccinating/circumsizing decisions have run the gamut of every possible choice that can be made. These are dear friends and intelligent people who have their reasons… and I say Amanda, you need to learn a little respect.
Hmm. I don’t think being a mom, or being a celebrity mom means you can’t have opinions — right? I guess it’s bad to judge other parents, but how would you feel about an article covering Jenny McCarthy’s views opposing vaccines? From a public health perspective, I just don’t think it can be disputed that those who don’t vaccinate are, in fact, benefiting from those who do. I feel like there’s a difference between judging people on parenting choices related to their personal lives, like co-sleeping, and decisions that have public implications, like vaccinations.
thoughtful comments. excellent post. i was a bit surprised by the Cookie Cover and quote too - and clearly A.P. is taking what as others mentioned a v. different stance on vaccines than most of the Hollywood crowd. I do admire her for her opinion and willingness to take a stand - I just think the parasite quote is totally overboard. She is probably cringing too….. Think she could have taken this same stance but also have been far more respective of those of us who know children who have been damaged by vaccines or have reasons to question the current overloaded schedule. personally, i’m actually all about dr. sears alternative vaccine schedule - but for the parents who are comfortable following the AAP and CDC guidelines - I understand they believe they are making the best choice for their family. And that is fine by me. Although - I know this post isn’t meant to be about vaccines - but I do wonder WHEN we’ll get some real studies to show some validity to what thousands of children and parents have experienced??? what do people think? 3 years, 10 years, never?
Did I miss this blog makeover? What cave have I been hiding in??!! And I never liked that Amanda Peet, that skinny witch.
Another thing that TOTALLY ticked me off about that interview was re: her drive to obsessively work. That in taking off on her child and “defining her passions”, her daughter would be able to define hers. Sorry but that’s called NEGLECT.
Parasites. Hmmm. Interesting. Yeah, in my condition I really don’t have the energy to get into this but I’ll reiterate that she obviously doesn’t know any children who have possibly been damaged by vaccines. She’s barfing her judgment all over mom’s everywhere. I’m sure once she grows up a little more (and so does her baby) and learns that things are not as black and white as she once thought she’ll regret saying that.
And as I’ve heard you say before. We mom’s are out here all doing the best that we can. And that is all anyone can really ask for, isn’t it?