Help! Fashion Quandary
I have a dilemna. As I mentioned, we have a wedding coming up in just a few short weeks. Now, in addition to the myriad problems surrounding what we are going to do with the kids and the fact that it is in New York city, I have an almost even bigger problem: I have nothing. Nothing to wear, that is.
Big issue here. This is an evening event - I believe the ceremony is at 6:30 and reception follows. I’ve never even been to an evening ceremony and don’t know what that means as far as dress code. Do I assume black tie? You know what, that doesn’t even matter, because “black tie” or not I still wouldn’t know what to wear. Help!
Here, let me go find some options from which you can choose because I am seriously overwhelmed. And remember the rules here: no strapless (huge nummies - must wear bra with straps, must avoid boob shelf), no long and fitted (shorty girl here), and nothing to tight in general (although I’ve lost like 70 lbs since Robby was born, there is still a major tummy pouch at play).
Option 1 - is this hideous? Is it nice enough? I don’t know . . .
What about this?
I kind of like this one, but it’s even more expensive and I don’t know if my boobs can fit in there. Sorry, way TMI, but it’s true.
Oh my goodness I’m totally lost. I don’t even know where to look other than Anne Taylor. Does it have to be black? It doesn’t have to be long, does it? Where else do I look? Thing is, I have to shop for this like THIS WEEKEND I think (in addition to celebrating my second child’s 1st BIRTHDAY, which I haven’t even written about yet because I am busy talking about WHAT I’M GOING TO WEAR and he is NEGLECTED!) because there is so much going on between now and the wedding. Can you tell I’m freaking out here? Can you tell I went to Oberlin College and know nothing of fashion? Help a girl out. What are the rules for an evening wedding?
Wait, I have a Bloomingdale’s card too. I’ll go look there . . . never mind - can’t afford that. Ok, looking to see what stores are at the mall near us - Macy’s.
This?
This one? These are all starting to look the same to me now.
All right, I have to walk away. I just realized I am going to also have to deal with shoes, accessories , perhaps even a “wrap,” whatever that is. I have to walk away. Please, have mercy - tell me what to wear.
I would go for an empire waist or something tight right under the bust. That seems to hide that annoying post-pregnancy pouch that we all think will go away but don’t want to admit that it is here to stay! I like the belted dress but I think it would draw the eye down to the pouch. Try to bring the eye up with some cleavage…that’s what I do!
Hi!
I would say that the first dress from Macy’s is a good one. If you don’t mind your arms that is a good one. I have big boobs, too and you want to be sure that you have good support. Trying things on is the best thing to do. The dress does not have to be black and if it does not say, it’s probably not black tie. This kinda thing is FUN for me!! Let me know what you choose…
For informal or semi-formal evening wedding, your attire should probably be a cocktail dress. Black is fine. If the wedding was formal or Black-tie, the invitation should have said so. I like dresses 2.3 and 5.
I am a big fan of dresses 2 and 3… but as a well-racked girl myself, I can see how dress #2 could have some logistical problems. If you LIKE black and look good in it, then sure… get a black dress, but I bet that you will see alot of color there too.
I always thought I couldn’t wear strapless either with the hugeness, but I had to for a wedding I was in, and it actually looked much better than I thought. The saleslady said strapless is a good choice for ladies like us…
I like the blue one. I have trouble with empire waists sometimes because they don’t leave enough boob room and the waist ends up in the wrong place.
Ok, I liked the second one, but I’m gonna say go with something BRIGHT! You look like you’d look good in red, and a woman wearing red is vivacious, no matter her age or the pouchiness of her tummy (which I’ve got plenty of…).
I have the same problem. In 2 months (ACK!) I have a wedding to attend and my choices are, well, nonexistant. The stores will be attacked quite soon…
Option 1 is adorable and totally is a style I would imagine you in. Do you have a Marshall’s or TJ Maxx nearby? I always love perusing their dress racks- always some goodies especially if you can get anything by Max Studio. For the tummy- hello SPANX! Get some if you don’t already have some!
Steph
Oh my… I feel your pain vis-a-vis wedding cluelessness.
Ugh…
I’d say your best bet is going to be going and trying things on. (I know you’re planning to do this.) Maybe you can take photos of your favorite stuff as a bit of a guide? I know you’ll find something great.
I think the last dress looks very elegant.
I had to be a BRIDESMAID two months after having the Baby, and all of the other bridesmaids were slim 20-somethings. Oh, THANK you.
I found one at Ann Taylor for my black tie wedding last month. Actually, I think it was at Loft…
Looks like you have some great suggestions already. All I wanted to say is - 70 lbs! You go girl! That’s awesome!
Not to add more confusion, but MAN…I SOOO am not a shopper, and HATE buying clothes (does that make me an embarrassment to my gender?), but I LOVE that #1 choice….
Feels straight out of Mad Men to me…and I LOVE that retro look.
My guess is you will look GO-Juss whatever you select! Have fun!
I’m with Jenn - congrats on the 70 pounds, that’s terrific! I still have that last five pounds to go, but you know exactly where it is, right? ha ha - right in the tummy.
I like that last dress - it’s pretty, not tight and has a little cleavage. And Macy’s is less than Ann Taylor.
Don’t like the first one…Kind of like the navy blueish one near the end. Looks kind of like your style. Doesn’t have to be black or even that dark, I would say. I would just think elegant is what matters, the style of it, not necessarily the color. But, what the heck do I know? I can’t remember the last time I went to a wedding! Maybe it was mine.
My extremely stylish and great deal-finder friend (and also short and nursing breasted) was in the same situation recently and she found something at the Montgomery mall in one of those really cheap stores, 20 something? I would never look there, but she found something for like $10 that she showed me and it was amazing. Gold, simple, and elegant. Anyway, in case that helps. But, she’s just one of those great finders, you know?
Good luck! Sorry for all the stress! I feel your pain.
Oh, yeah, Kohl’s rocks too. But I don’t know how their formal dresses are. I love that they have some lines by great designers.
As a fellow big-boobed, short stature mommy, I’ve been through this same dilemma many a time. Dresses just really don’t work well for us but they are best in situations like this. I would definitely avoid dress #1 and #4 as the high neckline will only make your chest appear larger. I tend to follow the rules from the original What Not To Wear Girls, Trinny and Susannah, and wear v-necklines since they visually divide the vastness of a large chest. As far as hiding a tummy, definitely take Steph’s advice and wear Spanx and then look for a dress that has either an empire waist (like #2 or #3) and maybe something that is ruched. I don’t know if any of this helps but I do recommend reading “What Not to Wear for Every Occasion” for more tips…
I like the pattern on the first dress, but a v-neck style would probably be more flattering. Go for a print or a color other than black and you will probably stand out and people will think you are a total fashion maven. Our Macy’s here in TX had a gorgeous purple dress.
Is it too late? I like the last two!
My vote is for number two, as a fellow girl with an enormous rack. I’m sure you with look lovely in what ever you get. I would recommend colorful accessories if you go with black (which is the best non color ever). Perhaps red accessories? And I request you post a photo of you all decked out at the wedding.
Not that I’ve seen you in ages and ages, but there’s a bunch of dresses on whitehouseblackmarket.com that i think you would look stunning in. your black/white choices here made me think of that site. pricier than kohl’s, but maybe worth it to feel a little glam for the evening. of course, by this point you’ve probably already solved your dilemma!
Don’t take fashion advice from me because I sort of suck in that department. I really like number 2 though. And black is slimming - that’s what they say anyway…
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Your blog rocks Beth.
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