Ahhhh . . . are we all up for air yet? Are we out of our tryptophan-induced food-coma? Things are starting to settle down here. We have just completed the last round of relative visits, the leftovers are coming to an end. But before we let go entirely of this most recent holiday, let’s recap with a little quiz shall we? I’ll happily share with you my answers, but feel free to share how your holiday was this past week. I hope you all had a great one.

Beth’s Thanksgiving Quiz -

1) The ratio of bedrooms to the number of people staying in your house is closest to:

a. No relatives, just our immediate family. It was quiet and intimate.

b. Something like 1:2.5.

c. We - gasp - traveled for Thanksgiving. I’d rather not discuss it.

My answer: B. We had eight people in our three bedroom house. And two cats. I didn’t actually know how small my house was. Now I know.

2) Did you brine the bird?

a. What in the hell are you talking about?

b. No way. I choose not to brine.

c. Is there any other way?

Me: C. Yes, I rocked that turkey. Rocked it, baby. It was all I thought about for like 48 hours, but it was worth it for every moist morsel. But my stuffing was dry. Lame. My pumpkin pie was good. I bought a pecan pie. That was a mistake.

3) When faced with the dilemma of having no tablecloth because you had to stick a recently purchased folding table up against your regular dining table and you didn’t want to buy an real tablecloth because you hope you’ll never have to do that again and will soon have a legitimate dining room table with leaves and all that jazz, you:

a. Go without. Who cares about a tablecloth, even if the tables aren’t the same height or the same color?

b. Send your husband out to get a paper disposable one - you gotta have something, right?

c. Bedsheet. Slap it on there.

Me: C. Single bedsheet. Perfect size. White. Probably ruined now due to gravy stains. What, not classy? You don’t eat off of your guest bed sheets? It’s so very Thanksgiving MacGuyver of us.

4) Your children chose to have a major, simultaneous meltdown at which point?

a. My children are angels. They were perfect the whole time.

b. Nothing a little Thomas The Tank Engine or some distraction from a relative couldn’t rectify.

c. Both started screaming without pause approximately 20 minutes before Thanksgiving dinner was served. I had to stop what I was doing at a crucial moment in my meal preparation - the gravy interlude - forcing every other family member to have to intervene in the kitchen while I bailed and dealt with them, thereby negating three days worth of cooking and planning by making my guests have to work in the kitchen in order to have their feast.

Me: Need I tell you?

If you answered mostly “a” to these, well, you can bite me. I hope you had a great holiday, but seriously, did you experience any holiday stress at all? Have you just been hanging out and blogging? Dude.

Mostly “b”s. That’s pretty moderate. I’m thinking you don’t have any major stories to tell, but if you did, you probably had a few moments to spare in which you could share them on your blog. But remember, only those answering “a”s have had time to read your blog.

The unfortunate souls who answered “c” to most questions: Ah! You’re my people. Like me, you’ve been completely absent from blogging this past week as you have tried to survive this wonderful holiday. But survive it you did, giving thanks and all, and now are on the other side, alive and well. Welcome back.