Ya’ll Asked for It.
Blaaaaahhhhh…that’s how I’ve been feeling. I’m sorry I haven’t been around. Haven’t been around my blog. Haven’t really been around yours either this week. And I’m sorry…blaaaahhhhh.
So you can imagine how happy I was to finally emerge temporarily to find that a few lovely ladies bestowed on me some awardage, and one has a meme along with it, which is so what I need right now. It always seems like when I’m at a real blogging low someone does something nice like this. Perfect timing.
First, Mel at A Box of Chocolates gave me the Marie Antoinette award for being “A real person.” And you should go check out Mel’s new ‘do. That Box of chocolates is looking good over there!
And Cookingmom (a new blog for me - don’t you love finding new blogs!) gave me the Honest Scrap award and tag, which requires me to write 10 honest things about myself. Oh dear . . .
Thank you ladies, both. Like I said, I’ve been a bit down in the dumps and this really helps. I hope my ten things aren’t a total bummer. But I’m required to keep it real, right?
So, 10 honest things about me:
1. I have S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder). And Cookingmom’s post for this meme sort of reminded me of it, despite the fact that Hubby and I try very hard to keep it in mind each winter. In fact, when I turned the calendar page to November this year, sitting there on November 1st was a little note that said, “Beth, you have SAD.” I know it accounts for quite a bit of my feeling down. But - I don’t know - it’s very hard to recognize that when you are in the midst, you know? It rained or was cloudy every day this week . . .
2. I’m also starting to get the sense that I have this too. And no, I’m not like looking around for various disorders to apply to myself. I seriously am a very different person during one week of every month. And I hate myself during that week. And again, it’s one of those things that goes unrecognized in the moment, and then a few days later it all makes sense. But that doesn’t change how awful it feels at the time.
3. I’m still at 60%. Have done nothing since that post. Nothing holiday related, nothing much of anything. Except the cards have arrived now and sit on the desk, glaring at me for not writing and sending them.
4. I’ve come to believe that when I eat chocolate late in the day it negatively affects Robby’s sleep (nursing), so now it is quite common for me to have eaten some form of chocolate before I’ve even had breakfast.
5. I’m considering going to see Twilight again tomorrow, only because I want to get out of the house and be by myself for a bit. And because I know Edward misses me.
6. I hate getting negative comments. And I don’t get many here. But I get them frequently somewhere else, and I take it very personally. And I don’t mean like when someone respectfully disagrees. I actually really like that. That Santa post is one of my all time favorite posts for comments (did anyone see that Santa commented?! And it was a perfect “Santa comment,” too:). I loved that everyone had different opinions and for the most part were very respectful of others’ views. (And no, that’s not the “somewhere else.” I know, I’m being so cryptic. Like no one could possibly know what I’m talking about.) No, what I don’t like and take very personally is when it’s like someone is just trying to take issue, especially when I’ve written something that was meant to be light-hearted, and then I feel like I’ve had my head bitten off. I get way too upset over this, especially when I feel like someone is almost intentionally misunderstanding me just because they are looking to argue. And I know I shouldn’t be bothered by people who do that…but I am. Very much so.
7. My surgery was postponed. It’s a long, lame story. I suppose all you really need to know is that it involves health insurance. I know - need I say more? I thank you for your emails and comments you wrote in preparation for my surgery. I’ve saved them all and will be re-reading when it comes time to dread it all over again in early April.
8. I think I have an idea for a book.
9. I’m now reading Outlander, and I’m not sure if I like it yet. Although I think I’m about to get to a juicy part, which will help considerably. Anyone read this series?
10. One of my favorite movies is Love, Actually. And the fact that it is Christmas time gives me a perfect excuse to watch it again. Maybe tomorrow, instead of heading into the cold and the public to see Twilight again, I’ll have to stay in bed and watch that instead.
Maybe I’ll start now…
Love, Actually is one of the few films I can watch again and again and not be bored. I have it on DVD, but will watch it any time it happens to be on TV, too.
It was on cable a few nights ago. Something odd about it, though: they completely cut out the story line of the guy who flies to Wisconsin to meet girls. Gone. Down the memory hole. I think it is the weakest story, but still…it’s nice when a work is presented in its entirety.
I’ve been feeling really “blah,” too. Not much into taking photos these days. ACK!
OH OH OH Outlander!!! I will be amazed if you don’t love it, if only because I love it SO VERY MUCH. I love Jamie even more than I love Edward.
I’m sorry you are down….
**there is NOTHING wrong with having chocolate before breakfast
**i need to see twilight again too. i’ve only seen it once. for shame.
**i have pmdd as well. it totally sucks, but it was nice when i figured out that i wasn’t completely insane. i’m dreading, um, ‘getting back to normal’ after having the baby. ugh.
I am sure that I have pmdd. That would explain so much. And did I mention I’m getting it again already! Argh!!!
“I’m considering going to see Twilight again tomorrow, only because I want to get out of the house and be by myself for a bit. And because I know Edward misses me.” AH HA HA HAHAHAHAHA!!!! Edward DEFINITELY misses you. And he is so worth going out in the cold and public for. Just to hear him say “I don’t have the strength to stay away from you anymore” and “I just want to try one thing.”
I have actually been concerned for you because of the comments that come in at your other writing gigs. Because people can be such assholes and I know you well enough to know that you’d be inclined to take them personally. However, I think you’ve handled any negative comments with so much class and not a hint of personal offense. I thought my worry had been for nothing. Not that it’s possible but I would gladly beat the snot out of anyone you’d like. You know, because violence is obviously the answer.
“I think I have an idea for a book.” WEEEE!!!
Chocolate is good any time, anywhere. Do what you gotta do.
Sorry your surgery was postponed but maybe it is for the best. You weren’t too excited about it anyway.
I’m sorry for all the tough stuff. And rude commentors! THEY SUCK! That’s why I took anonymous commenting off my blog, which might not be an option for you.
Outlander… is that the book where the woman from the 1940s gets sent back to 1700 in Scotland? That book was dopey. And smutty.
I am a firm believer in Chocolate For Breakfast and indulge in it almost every day.
I really liked the first Outlander book when I finished it. It took me some time to get into it though. And the first book is the best of the series. It definitely falls in the historical romance category though, which makes me feel a little trashy.
I think I want to see Twilight again too. Just because.
I hope that things take a positive direction for you today, if only for a part of the day. Thanks for sharing your honest scraps!
I don’t have anything consistent like PMDD, but my hormones play havoc with me sort of randomly (sometimes yes, sometimes no, sometimes one thing, sometimes another) and I’m nearing (nearing, I say!) the age of menopause (so my mom assures me, thanks mom!) so all manner of whack stuff goes on with me. And the thing is, just like you said… you KNOW what it is but it’s not as though, in recognizing what your malfunction is, that constitutes the flipping of some switch that makes it all go away. You still feel sad or mad or frustrated or lonely or whatever toxic surge of unhappiness is going through your brain that makes life so difficult to handle. In fact, in a way, it’s worse because then you just feel even more helpless.
It sucks and I wish I had some lovely word to say that would be in any way helpful, but I don’t. The closest I can get is to share that when I feel worst, I try to remember to count my blessings and usually that helps me put things into better perspective. (Note that I said *try* because I’m not always successful in remembering to do that and even sometimes when I do it’s not an ironclad guarantee I’ll feel better. Usually I do, though, often enough to make it worthwhile.)
I also LOVE Love, Actually. One of the best movies ever. I always marvel at how Hugh Grant can be at once so painfully awkward and yet still possess overwhelming sexual appeal and blazing masculine confidence. It’s not just that he’s handsome… he’s got that certain something. Ahh, the dancing to the Pointer Sisters! It kills me EVERY time.
I enjoyed the whole Outlander series. Honestly I could have done without some of the super smutty and super graphic bits, but I really like the amount of research the author did to present the time period accurately. I have not read Twilight yet (yes, I am the last person on earth…) so I cannot compare.
I’m with you on #1 and #2. And it only gets worse after the holidays. Sigh…
On the up-side, it was great seeing you tonight!
thanks for making me laugh out loud about how edward misses you (i mean, i’m sure he does!) i still haven’t seen the movie but really enjoyed the book.
i definitely had a piece of fudge before breakfast today, so don’t feel bad:)