Who Do you Love?
We were sitting at the dinner table when he hit us with it: “Daddy, I love Mommy more than you.”
And then, silence. I stared at my husband for a moment and then began to speak to my son about why he should not say such things to his father, but the damage was done, despite the fact that it was completely unintentional. My husband excused himself to go upstairs for a while and regroup, as they say. Here he was, home finally after a long day at work, where he spends long hours and enormous amounts of his energy, in large part for us, and when he comes home, this is what he’s told.
Just wait til they are older and you get that occasional “I hate you” right before their bedroom door slams.
One day I’m my kid’s best friend and then he suddenly tells me to go away not 10 minutes later. Everything they say has to be taken with a grain of salt. I hope your hubby’s heart has mended.
The “I hate you” stages of their lives are going to suck! I hope that doesn’t ever happen.
Oh God bless your husband…
While I hate to say this, we’ve discovered what heals those wounds like your husband received that evening. The sad answer is when your son says the exact reverse to you. (We’ve heard similar declarations from both our twins…going both directions..)
We tend to imbue the kids’ words with such adult intent…hopefully your husband realizes those words aren’t the “reality” we assume. And if you hear the reverse (as I have), remember it’s a fleeting moment. Your children love you…neither more than the other…each uniquely. (Like we’ve explained our love for our twins! Now there ARE certain BEHAVIORS we love more than others…perhaps that is how we’ve gotten those professions of favoritism—or lack thereof– from our kids!)
A great post, Beth.
Not sure why I can’t post over there. But… Kids are weird. They flip flop all the time and say silly things. (I know you know this!) Miss A used to tell me to go to work all the time. “I want you to go to work Mommy.” because then she and Daddy could get down to the fun stuff. That hurt. I admit it. But she doesn’t say stuff like that at the moment. She wants me around. Maybe because my attention is divided now? Not sure. Anyway. I know it sucks. For Hubby and for you to hear that sort of thing. But I guess know that your kid isn’t the only one saying that kind of stuff.