Years ago, I saw an article in Mothering magazine about children and weapons play, and I saved it. Yep, I’ve hung on to my copy of it since 2006. I knew that one day I would need to refer back to it. And now, with two boys who love super heroes, playing “Good Guys and Bad Guys,” and have an increasing interest in guns and light sabers (pronounced “Light Savers,”) I’m sure glad I knew exactly where that magazine was.

So I reread it this week, and then found out it is even available online, for those of you who might also be faced with some of these tough choices about your children and a gravitation toward violence in play. I find it comforting, and I think it makes several great points, particularly that of not shaming our children (boys especially) when they show an interest in weapons and play-fighting. And the part about guiding this type of play toward the imaginative rather than the imitative makes a whole lot of sense and is incredibly easy to employ. Well, it’s easy to employ as long as you’re willing to pretend you are The Hulk, who I have been for the better part of the week.

It’s worth a read: “Bang! Bang! You’re Dead!”

The only thing this link appears to be missing was a sidebar from the original magazine article that included “Alternatives to Forbidding,” which includes ideas for redirecting and setting limits (setting rules like weapons can touch only weapons, limiting where weapon toys can be used, starting with the premise that “everyone needs to feel safe,” transforming guns into magic wands, and emphasizing healing, dress-up, storytelling, etc. - if anyone wants more information about it just let me know).

I’ve also taken out from the library one of the books it repeatedly references, “Killing Monsters: Why Children Need Fantasy, Super Heroes, and Make-Believe Violence,” but have yet to start it, so we’ll see.