We have so much unpacking to do.  Thankfully the boys have been really helpful…

Labels: House, Pictures, The Big One, The Little One

Ugh, you guys, moving suuuucks. I always forget how bad it is. I hate packing and taking care of all the stuff that goes along with a move, and I get overwhelmed really early on and know that it is something I loathe. But somehow it always ends up being worse than I expect or remember. See that house down below? I hate that house! I want to live in this lame apartment under my especially lame neighbors forever, just so long as I don’t have to pack one more single thing. Ok, I don’t hate it. I’m just ready to be in it.

It was around this time two years ago that we were doing exactly the same thing as we prepared to leave Chicago. It was hard packing with a mobile baby - he got into everything imaginable. A few of you may remember Sam eating the zipper. I thought we’d learned our lesson from that incident but nooooooo. Today Hubby and I were dealing with files and paper shredding, and when I went over to check on Robby he had that exact same expression on his face, causing me to open his mouth and sweep out a tiny piece of plastic that was working its way toward the back of his throat. It was something that had no business being on the floor to begin with ( I think it was a broken piece from the cord to our blinds or something), but of course the whole apartment is covered in packing material and crap right now so everything just kind of blends together. Packing with one baby and one toddler is, well, it’s ridiculous. And now I’ll stop complaining because it will all be over in a week.

And on a really, REALLY good note, I’m going to be writing for Mama Speaks, which I am so happy about. Mama Speaks is an awesome review blog that showcases mom-designed products, eco-friendly tips and merchandise, lesser known charity organizations, and generally very cool stuff for moms. It’s a great place to check out for new products and to get a mom’s opinion on whether or not something is a good purchase for you and your family. I’m sure I’ll be biting my nails when it’s time for my first reviews, but I’m totally excited.

Labels: House, The Little One

We went to the playground today, the four of us, and tried to get in some play time before the HUGE freaking rain cloud overtook us. Both the boys were on the swings, and then Sam went off with his daddy to climb and slide. I was left alone with Robby, just the two of us. Once I looked away from Sam walking away toward the big curvy ladder, and once I’d warned my husband to help him because Sam wasn’t wearing good playground shoes and might slip, I looked back at Robby. And looked. It was just us, and the feeling was so foreign. And all of a sudden I had all these flashbacks of when Sam was very little, how we did absolutely everything together, just the two of us. That’s how things were for the first 27 months of his life. And I told him telepathically, I’m sorry. I’m sorry this is the first time I have pushed you on the swing without being distracted. I’m sorry I can’t tell you when this will happen again. You will never know what it is like to share me with no one else. It is something you will never comprehend. And I’m just really, really sorry. He just continued to smile at me.

Do you ever just feel like you’re not very . . . present? Lately I have just been completely overwhelmed. It’s constant. I’m listing things to do, and we are spending every free moment trying to take care of something, some project, some packing, some phone call, some something. I know a lot of it is due to the upcoming move, but a lot of it also is just the difference in having more than one child. I never feel calm or in the moment. If a time comes when both children are content I feel I can’t just be there with them. I need to go make lunch, go return a phone call, go pee. Because if I don’t take advantage of that moment, then I may be making lunch while being screamed at by a baby to pick him up, talking on the phone while being pestered by an almost three year old to get him some scissors, holding the door shut while, well, you know.

There’s just never a moment to just be with them, especially not one on one. Sam is tough right now. Most things are negotiations, warnings, battles. It feels like that’s what we’ve been doing now for about six months. The other night he was running down the hall laughing and singing a song he’d made up himself. I was behind him, watching, and I just thought, that’s right: Sam is fun and sweet and happy. Why does it feel like he is never happy anymore? But he is, it’s just happening when I’m not paying attention because that period of calm for him makes me feel like I can move on to something else. He and I don’t get much time together for just us anymore either. Lately I have felt like I hardly know him. He has all of a sudden turned into a boy who can talk to me and tell me what he wants, yet I feel I understand him less than when it was just the two of us, and he couldn’t speak a word.

The past six months . . . I don’t know where they’ve gone. I don’t know what we’ve done with our time together, or where I’ve been. I haven’t really been here. I’ve just been moving, trying to function, trying to get things done. I hope tomorrow I can stay with them when that moment of contentment comes and tell them, telepathically, you guys are it. You are the center of my everything. I am here with you both. I am going nowhere else, but staying still.

Labels: Learn More Every Day, Mommyhood, The Big One, The Little One

He’s eight months old today.

He’s a sweet-tempered, happy boy.

He smiles easily, you just have look at him.

He waves at everyone he sees by sticking his hand up in the air.

He has the best baby laugh ever. EVER.

He’s never had a blog post devoted entirely to him alone - he’s a neglected second child.

To be fair, I didn’t even start blogging until his brother was nearly a year old, so in that respect he is ahead.

He’s huge and heavy.

He has recently started to smile with his eyes closed.

He has two teeth and more on the way.

His name is Robby.

And he’s my baby.

Labels: Pictures, The Little One

****Edited below ******

Curses on you, Croup!

I sleep between two fevers

Barking baby seals

For more of Haiku Friday go to A Mommy Story or Playgroups Are No Place for Children.

******I just wanted to add, for those of you waiting for an update on this fiasco, that the blog has finally been removed from the website (after several weeks, several phone calls, and a deadline of today, issued by my lawyer husband). And someone emailed me to ask if that event might have a relation to the publication I mentioned yesterday. No, the two events are not related at all, so please don’t think that Sekund had anything to do with that.

Labels: Bodily functions, The Big One, The Little One, Writing

I love this picture. I think it’s both hysterical and oddly artsy.

I found this new online magazine recently, Sekund, which focuses on parenting the second time around, ie. when you go from one kid to two (”Second”). I’ll have an essay in the May issue, coming out some time this month, so my husband has been taking pictures of the kids and me to publish with my article. I’m actually considering submitting this one because I think it pretty much captures it all.

Go check out the magazine though. It’s fun and brand new. You can subscribe to have new issues sent via email, and I’ll also update here when the new one with my essay is out (of course!).

Labels: Pictures, The Big One, The Little One, Writing

Here are the top five things you do not want to be doing while a baby is screaming at you. And I have a lot of experience with this now, so you can trust me.

5. Driving. I seriously considered driving into the car in front of me the other day because it JUST WOULDN’T MOVE.

4. Anything where a sudden jerk of the arm may result in blindness, burn, or maiming, such as applying eyeliner, taking a sip of your cup of coffee, or chopping carrots.

3. Trying to conduct a time-sensitive phone conversation involving something critical, such as making a decision about locking in an interest rate on a home loan before market closes.

2. Trying to put the blue pants on an almost three-year-old who wants to wear the brown pants. BTW, the brown pants in this scenario are obviously dirty and unavailable. Seriously, the moms who can keep it together and maintain patience with their older child when things like this happen (aka child who is being insistent about a minor detail and being totally uncooperative despite younger brother’s screams of fury) are totally amazing.

1. You know what it is people . . . yes, you do. Involves a throne? Yeah. I don’t need to tell ya’ll. Man, I hate it when that happens. Talk about a time you don’t want to feel rushed . . . and I especially like it when you can hear the baby screaming in the other room where you’ve left him in his crib and you’ve got the older one in the room with you yelling at you to come and do whatever it is he wants you to do - fix a train, find a sippy cup, pick a booger, whatever - but you can’t actually hear what he wants because the baby is so loud, and you can’t actually help him right now anyway because, well, you’re stuck. Yeah. Love that moment. What is that, like every day?

Labels: Bodily functions, Mommyhood, The Big One, The Little One