Sam and I have been playing a lot of Candyland lately.  He caught on remarkably fast, seeing as it’s his very first board game and all.  But after a while I started to notice something a little…odd.

Here are some examples of some of the cards I was allowed to draw during our recent game.

You can assume they pretty much all looked like this.

Here are some of the cards Sam “happened” to draw.

Again, you can assume they pretty much all looked like this.

In case you can’t tell, this is a stack of all of the “special cards,” all of which were “his.”

And here’s the “pile” we were drawing from, where he directed each of us as to which card we could pick up.

And here is the face Sam makes when he knows he’s being “naughty.”

Labels: Pictures, The Big One, Toys

Ever since Sam was born I have waited to see what would be chosen as his “Lovey.” I didn’t know when it would happen, but I looked forward to seeing what type of object would become the object of his affection. For me there was Old Dolly, a tattered mess of a bean bag doll that I carried with me EVERYWHERE for several years - only my mom can probably tell you how many years it was (comment jaybee4000?). Early on I tried to force some type of Lovey on him because I wanted him to have one. I don’t know why. I guess I just find it endearing somehow. I would envision him walking around the house with a dirty old blanket or a stuffed animal dangling from his hand. To a great extent I’m sure I also wanted him to have one because it might have helped with his horribly horrendous sleep habits - if he was attached to an object perhaps he could be just a wee bit less attached to me. When it didn’t happen naturally I would go in search of something that might make a good Lovey and as a result ended up with several animals, dolls, and blankets that have been completely untouched. Sam is just not into snuggly toys, never has been. And so, I eventually gave up on the Lovey and accepted that I’d never get to see him cuddled up on the couch with a bear.

Sam is just more interested in cars/trucks/trains/things with wheels. Again, he always has been. We certainly did not seek out stereotypical boy toys for him when he was a baby. Over the past year or so he has become more and more attached to his cars and trains and trucks. First they were what he always wanted to play with, then they started coming with us everywhere. I learned very quickly that when it was time to leave the house it was crucial that Sam be given an opportunity to choose which two cars/trains/trucks he would bring on our journey. If, perchance, we got out of the house without at least two small vehicles we would never even make it to the elevator before he would scream in realization of our mistake. His vehicles sat with him in shopping carts, were carried around playgrounds, and clutched at playgroups. At home, Sam cannot move to a new location without bringing some number of cars. If I want him to come from the living room to the dinner table he must bring somewhere between 2 and 10 vehicles. They then must be lined up on the table to “watch” him eat (he’s not allowed to play with them at the table; they have to be “parked”) and I cannot expect him to get up in his seat until they are all perfectly in place. This is pretty much true for any movement from one room to another. Time must be allotted for the selection and positioning of matchbox cars and/or Thomas trains no matter what the activity.

More recently, Sam started wanting to bring trains and cars to bed with him. At first I tried to persuade him to bring them to bed for our reading time and then put the vehicles to “sleep” on the nightstand. It worked for a little while, but then there were battles when it was time to put the trains in their beds, and really, that’s not a battle worth waging as long as he doesn’t try to play with them instead of going to sleep. So now part of our bedtime ritual includes the selection of two very special Loveys. One night Sam will fall asleep holding Blue Choo Choo in one hand and Black Car in another, the next night it could be Red Pick Up Truck and Big Red Car. I’m not sure how he chooses each night; he loves so many (although there are about 6-10 to which he is truly attached and are chosen repeatedly). And somehow the whole thing happened without me even really thinking about it and seeing what was going on. They’re not exactly what I would have chosen for his Loveys, but the fact that my son sleeps with a car in each hand held close to his chest and talks in his sleep about choo choos and parking cars is pretty endearing if you ask me.

Labels: Toddler, Toys

We’ve been attacked by Little People! They’ve come in by bus, by plane, and by train and have totally taken over our living room with their house and garage. Yes, it was a Little People Christmas for Sam, among other things, many other things. This kid has so many freakin’ toys…

The Little People now have their own Big World set out in our living room. (I had to throw in a joke about that stupid show - how could I not? Seriously though, why is that show ok?) If only I wasn’t so anal. See, I like for toys to be put away with other similar toys at the end of the day. So when it comes to the dozens of Little People, I want the (female!) pilot and passengers on the plane to go in the plane, the kids and bus driver to be in the wheel chair accessible bus, the little stereotypical family and their cat in their picket fence house, the mustached mechanics and their odd moppy dog to hang out in their garage. But more often than not I have to let these little details go and leave that mechanic in the bed with the mom holding the bottle…

And just a tip: You know you’ve got real estate on the brain when you look at the Little People house and seriously think, “Oh, well they’re doing fine with just one bathroom all the way up on the second floor so maybe we could manage it too…”

Labels: Toys

I have a hard time admitting this, but I have learned something about myself over the course of the last few months. I tend to get incredibly indignant about the way other people parent their children when it comes to protecting Sam. When I take him out to a playground, a store, a playgroup, what have you, I am right there with him when it comes to interacting with other kids when it looks like there might be trouble. I am there helping him to share and trade toys back and forth, to make sure no one gets pushed away from the steering wheel and that everyone gets a turn. I cannot tell you how often I find I am the only one mediating though, how often other parents stand their and watch their child take a toy, slap Sam’s hands, push past him, and they do nothing. It makes me want to scream, say something rude, or glare until my eyes pop out and/or their head explodes. I never, in actuality, do more than glare mildly and then complain to my husband. Here’s an example:

Yesterday was dreary and threatening to rain so I decided to take Sam to the Barnes and Noble because they have a train set there, and I thought he’d like it. When we arrived there were two older children already there so I decided to take him over to the story area to play on the stage for a while. When it was clear that the parents of these kids were camped out for the day I decided to let him go over and play. The other two kids proceeded to take train cars from him, gathering them up so that they had them all, and repeatedly stepped between him and the table so that he could not come near. The girl even started to say something to him about how he was too young to play there until she saw me looking at her. Their parents did nothing. They sat in their chairs reading. Personally I do not feel comfortable being the only one to mediate in a situation like that when the parents are RIGHT THERE. Sadly, I decided that Sam and I needed to leave because I was afraid he was really going to get pushed over and his lack of train cars was starting to upset him. Of course, when I picked him up to go he threw a HUGE tantrum and would not stop screaming no matter how I tried to appease him. We ended up leaving the store with him flailing in my arms and sobbing. I felt awful. And yet I do think he needed to be removed from the situation. He was going to have a tantrum anyway if he kept having his cars taken away or it could have been worse with two older kids who specifically did not want him there and two parents who wouldn’t even look up from their reading material.

I left with him feeling that we’d both been bullied. I was so pissed that our afternoon had been ruined, at least that’s how it felt. I understand that kids will be kids. They don’t have to want to play with him. They don’t even have to be good at sharing. But they do need to have parents that will supervise enough to let them know that pushing him away from the table is not acceptable. I really need some advice here because I feel like I find myself in this situation over and over again. What am I supposed to do when I am standing there watching a kid be mean to him and their parent does nothing? I mean, clearly these two parents had brought their kids there to play with the train so they could check out for a bit, and I understand the need to check out every so often. And I know their kids were older and maybe they don’t really need to deal with this stuff very often anymore. But wasn’t this a good opportunity to help their child exhibit some patience with a younger child? Or was I just totally wrong to take Sam somewhere to play with a train where there might be older kids in the first place? I really don’t know how I should have handled the situation but as I wiped tears from his eyes and put him in the car I knew that somewhere along the line I had not made the right choice, because he didn’t deserve to miss out on something he liked due to the behavior of everyone else. And I know that I get angry and am frustrated by situations like this frequently.

So tell me, am I expecting too much from other parents? Am I totally overprotective/overbearing/over-involved? Would you reprimand another person’s child if they didn’t? Would you feel comfortable sitting there and mediating while the other parent did nothing? Do you avoid these situations altogether? Do you try and let your child be independent and fend for himself until the bad thing happens rather than removing him in its anticipation? Honest answers please - I’m at a loss.

Labels: Mommyhood, Tales, Toddler, Toys