I have known Kate pretty much since I started blogging. Back then she wrote Peeping Moms, her parenting blog, and since then she has started up a foodie blog called The Clean Plate Club. She has been one of those blog pals that feels like a real life friend right from the start. It is a relationship like that that reminds me of why I love blogging in the first place, because, as I have said many times before, blog friends are real friends too. Kate and I share emails, read about each other’s lives via our blogs, and, I think, know each other pretty darn well for two people who have never met. When I was thinking of potential guest posters she was one of the first that came to mind, both because I love her, and also because I guess I sort of missed hearing her take on parenting. Enjoy.

Beth asked me to guest post on her blog and I couldn’t be more honored! I have been reading Total Mom Haircut for a long time. I think it is the blog I have been reading the longest. I’m excited to be a tiny part of it because I totally respect and dig Beth’s work.

When she emailed me, Beth mentioned that I must miss mommy blogging. (I used to write one, now I do a food blog at www.thecleanplateclub.net) I do miss it. So, I’m here to answer the challenge and kick it old school with some thoughts about parenting.

I’m thinking a lot about time lately. particularly how fast it goes. Both of my children have birthdays this week. My baby girl will be 10 months (she’s just gotten her 3rd tooth!) and my son will be 4 years old. Which I cannot believe. Lately I am just constantly looking around with my mouth open going, “how did this happen?” “How can I have 2 kids of 4 and nearly 1 so fast?”

It’s a strange juxtaposition. Because I can remember nights (MANY nights) that felt so. incredibly. long. My son was not a sleeper. Not even close. He didn’t sleep thru the night until he was 15 months. Those nights seemed to last forever. I would literally sit there and wish for day to come so it would be over. The sleeplessness made me loopy and grumpy ta’ boot. Little did I know my wish would come true–again and again. And all of a sudden it’s years later and I’m somehow
feeling like I was rushed. How dare I say that when all I wanted was to be past it?

My daughter is another story altogether. She IS a sleeper. A real good one, God love her! Her babydom seems to be passing even quicker than my son’s did. Which is just ridiculous. And while this excites me on one level, it makes me sad on another. Hubby and I are pretty set on the decision not to have another. So, I feel my baby days waning. Sometimes this is a great relief to me. Soon we’ll have 2 kids and not one kid and one baby. We’ll be able to do more as a family. We’ll be
less tied to nap times and bottles and diapers. But on the flip side–there will be no more nighttime snuggles while she eats, no more cute, tiny clothes, no more laying on the couch just cooing at each other. I feel like it’s all passing me by! It’s going too fast!

In a way, I feel like my son is “done.” He walks, talks, has all his teeth, is potty trained, goes to school. We got him this far, he pretty much takes it from here. This week he learned to buckle his own seat belt. Obviously, he’s only 4 and therefore, I have YEARS of taking care of him, but I do feel like he has passed thru a threshold. And it is one that I see on the horizon for my daughter. It will be here before I know it. Literally.

My answer to all of these feelings? A greater commitment to living in the moment with my family. I dive into everything excitedly. Every dish I wash, every load of laundry I do, ever diaper I change, bath I give or pre-bed snuggle time we have. I am trying to appreciate and love it all. I spent a lot of energy when my son was new fighting the selflessness that has to come with parenting. I wasn’t prepared for what I would give up. Or the work I would have to do. Now, I can say,
I embrace it. Bring it on! Because I’ll have years of my life where I can do or not do the laundry. I can head out to a movie on a whim with hubby. Or take my sunday morning slow. That will come. Right now I’m all about the ride, the chaos, the work and joy of being a stay-at-home mom.

And it’s a privilege to care for these two children. I’m honored and humbled. And determined not to miss a thing.

Labels: Guest Writers

Greetings from the sunny shores of New Jersey. We’re having a fine trip. The ocean is um, well, it’s kind of closed right now. Something about waves being too big for it to be safe. So yeah, it’s a wee bit hot, you know, on the beach, when we can’t actually get in the water…

And Hubby and I have been plowing through the third season of Lost in the evenings once the kids are in bed. We have the finale tonight. Don’t you dare tell me anything about it because a) I probably already know because I know about one major thing that happens. And b) you will not be forgiven, not ever!

And here’s my question: Do you think blogging makes you share way too much information when you meet people? I ask because I recently filled out a little get-to-know-you survey for a local mom club that I joined to meet people in our new area. I basically filled the thing out as thought I was doing a meme on my blog. When it was printed in the newsletter with the other new members’, I saw that everyone else had written like 1 and 2 word answers. Mine had been cut . . . It made me sort of wonder if I was giving out way TMI.

And then on the beach this morning we were talking to the people near us who had a girl Sam’s age. I think by the end of the conversation the woman knew major details about my life and could probably go in depth on my feelings on tons of topics - I talked the poor woman’s ear off. She’d ask me a question and I’d give her these long, personal stories, and we’d only just met.

Do you think blogging skews your sense of what is appropriate information to share with others/strangers? I can’t work it all out right now, because we have to head back to the beach and see if the ocean is, um, open yet, but that’s what’s on my mind.  I have to wonder if it might have something to do with the fact that I spill my heart on the internet on an almost daily basis.

Hope everyone is enjoying the guest posts. I have a few more lined up and they’re great.

Labels: Bloggy Stuff - Memes/Links/Business, Vacations and travel

I am honored today to have Jo-Lynne of Musings of a Housewife, Chic Critique, and DCR Design (check out my new banner!) guest posting today on one of my all-time favorite topics: Total Mom Haircuts! I had the pleasure of meeting Jo-Lynne in person recently at the Philly Mom Bloggers get together, and I can attest to the fact that she really does have it as together in person as she seems to on the internet; she’s one of those women who I look at and think, “Wow, how does she DO it all? More importantly, how does she do it all so WELL?” But do it well she does, so for the few of you who haven’t been over to her blog yet, I’m pleased to introduce Jo-Lynne…

When I got pregnant with my first child back in 1999, I was DETERMINED not to succumb to the pressure — the pressure to get the “total mom haircut.” In fact, I decided to let my hair grow. And those pregnancy hormones clicked in. And it grew. And grew. AND GREW.

For the first time in my life, I had hair past my shoulder blades. I loved my long hair. Never was my hair as thick and healthy as it was in my son’s first year of life. As friends around me got pregnant and got the mom cut, I was determined to resist. I may have even been a bit vain about my long hair.

If you’ve been pregnant and born a child, you know what happens next. The thick and the healthy? It doesn’t last. When I weaned my son at 21 months, my hair started falling out steadily. The bathroom floor looked like a pet shop when I was done primping every morning. But I loved that long hair. I was determined to keep it. I was in denial that it was anything but gorgeous and healthy.

Over the next six years (and two pregnancies) I varied my hairstyle a bit, but for the most part, I kept it below my shoulders. Even though it was less than healthy and vibrant, I was determined — no mom haircut for me!

It was the third child that did me in.

Last year, I started noticing that not only was my hair thinning out, it was dry and brittle. There were actually holes where my hair had fallen out and was trying to grow back in. After a succession of haircuts, attempting to fix the problem, I suddenly found myself with — wait for it…

The Total Mom Haircut. It took me eight years and three kids, but I finally gave up the ghost. It was inevitable, I suppose — a rite of passage for every mother. Now I officially belong to the club. And I’ll let you in on a little secret. I rather like it.

Jo-Lynne blogs daily at Musings of a Housewife.

Labels: Guest Writers

Joining us at the ol’ salon today is Cheryl, of Twinfatuation, which is a fairly new blog for me, but has been a favorite since its discovery. What I have always thought is amazing about moms of multiples is that all of the stuff that I thought was so hard about becoming a new mom has been combined for them from the very start with all of the stuff I find so hard about being the new mom of two. I imagine there are also wonderful benefits though, and Cheryl writes about all of it with amazing insight and humor - I’m sure what she shares with us today will be enlightening. Over to you, Cheryl. [Thanks for the invite, Beth! —CRL]

Fear not. Despite the title, I’m not about to break every semblance of Guest Poster protocol by diving deeply into unsavory topics like pregnancy constipation, post-partum incontinence, or even potty training. The queried number two of which I speak is the pondered, the possible, the potential child. The secundo to your primo.  The pixie-dust imaginings of wistful, wonder-filled pillow talk between new parents*. The mocha latte-fueled moments of newborn nostalgia shared by fellow mothers-a-mono. [*Typically after the  first-born is sleeping through the night with some regularity.] Ready to give it another go? Revisit your recent regimen:

Maternity. Nine months – or as I found out when pregnant for the first time, 40 weeks – of time lazing forward at its most lugubrious pace. Marking expectancy in weeks (and in my viability-anxious, hyper-anticipatory state, days), it’s a practice comparable perhaps only to the childhood cheer-bringer/wait-minimizing/treat-doling Advent calendar. Then shockingly, whether your labor is an infamous “two-pusher” or an arduous weekend-long affair, within a scandalously short window, motherhood arrives like gangbusters.

All your expectations, your excitement, your energies are cross-haired – honed-in – on making that lovely little lump the focus of efforts extraordinary. Undoubtedly, the wee one revels in the reverence…wouldn’t you? But wait! If you elect to add to your brood, won’t that heir apparent, the apple of your eye, your raison d’etre, respond with therapy- inducing malaise, a sense of being jilted, or Heaven forbid, replaced?

Take heed, modern mommies. If your brain, heart and belly comply — multiply. Excess deliberation and hesitation merely confuse the family expansion muse.

From whence do I speak? Like you, once I too had a beloved first-born…a son. He was the sole object of my abject affection. He was my only child…

…for a whopping seven minutes. Then — as today — my love for him is unflagging, unflinching, unrelenting, unequalled — as it is for his “little” (twin) sister.

Contemplating procreation, Part Two? My advice: by all means, think; but don’t overthink. As Doris Day (possessor of fabulous Total Mom Hair) melodically reminded us all, whatever will be, will be. The future’s not ours to see. Que sera, sera.

Labels: Guest Writers

Heading out of town soon. No, not to Blogher! In fact, this is the place to come this week if you are incredibly jealous and bitter that you weren’t able to be at Blogher, because I’m going to officially deem that topic off-limits. No, we’re heading “Down the Shore,” as the area residents like to say. We’ll be back at the same place where Sam took his first steps (oh, it was so weird just looking at those old pictures of him…) just two years ago, and judging by the way Robby has claimed my laundry basket as a walker, I’m starting to wonder if I won’t have a similar announcement upon our return next week.

Guess what though - I’ve set up some wonderful guest posters for you all! No, I don’t believe I’m one of those big old money making blogs that requires guest posters when I step away from the computer; I just thought it would be FUN. You know, fun? Like, there are lots of blogs out there worth reading and if you haven’t found them yet I want to introduce you to them, just in case. I’m very excited about the whole thing, and I hope you all have fun next week . . . without me . . . just like Blogher . . .

BTW, for all you other East coasters that maybe don’t know this (I only recently found out) there is, in fact, a festivus for the rest of us. Blogher is having a Reach Out Tour in the month of October in several other locations. I plan to hit the one in DC on October 13. You with me?

Oh, and for those of you who are still trying to simmer down, I did get an email from someone at Cookie, directing me to Amanda Peet’s public apology, for what it’s worth.

Labels: Bloggy Stuff - Memes/Links/Business, Vacations and travel

I rode the train downtown for a doctor appointment yesterday. It had been quite a while since I’d been on a train, and it reminded me of what, I think, is an amazing story from when I lived in Chicago, when I rode the El all the time.

I had gone downtown I think to meet Hubby, who was just a boyfriend at the time, for lunch. On my way back I was heading up the stairs to the el (that’s “elevated” for you non-Chicagoans) and noticed that a man who had been sitting on the steps there happened to stand up as I walked by, and it felt a little odd because he’d gotten awfully close. Sure enough, when I got upstairs and sat down on the bench to wait for the train, I saw that my backpack was open and my wallet was missing. I got backup and headed back downstairs to see if he was still there, having no idea what I would do if I actually did find him.

He wasn’t to be seen, so I went to the counter and asked the woman working if she had seen him, and told her I’d just been robbed. Just then, a woman came down the stairs from the other side of the tracks and asked if I had just had my wallet stolen. She said she’d seen the man come up her side, take the money out of a pink wallet (yes, I had a pink wallet) and throw it in the trash. She then noticed that I had just arrived and then headed back downstairs on the other side of the tracks.

This meant the man who had pick-pocketed me was upstairs waiting for the train to arrive, temporarily stuck because the only way down is via the stairs that we are currently at the bottom of, blocking his would-be escape route. But we can hear that train coming down the track, which would allow him to get on and get away. So the woman working begins to try and call the approaching train on a walkie talkie, but she soon realizes the batteries are dead and it’s not working. As she tries to find a new set of batteries and install them, we hear the train getting closer and closer.

In the meantime, I have called Hubby, the then-boyfriend, and he has arrived quickly since he’d just walked me to the train stop after our lunch. And he has now decided that he is going to go upstairs and confront this man and get my wallet back because the approaching train probably isn’t going to be stopped in time. He heads up the stars as I scream at him to stay, not knowing what this dude may have in his pockets or do to my kind-hearted, gentle boyfriend were he to confront him. Envision, if you will, me at the bottom of the train steps screaming at him to come back and sobbing, and the woman who had originally come to tell where Dude was is screaming at the CTA employee to hurry up and stop the train!

Here’s where it gets good. A man passing by saw all this happening and headed up the stairs without saying anything to us right before Hubby. So Hubby was walking behind this guy, wondering what he was going to do to the man who had my wallet once he saw who he was of the group upstairs, but just as he approached him, the man walking in front of him grabs the perpetrator and throws him up against the wall, yelling at him to give him “the girl’s wallet.” Hubby stood in awe (and maybe he can add a bit to this in the comments since he is the one who witnessed it firsthand:)

Meanwhile, I am still downstairs in a wreck with the other two women, when I see Hubby running down the stairs with a huge smile on his face, waving my pink wallet around in the air, gleefully. Right behind him comes the thief, held tight by the random passerby who decided to rectify this situation on his own. Once to the bottom of the stairs, the hero of the story holds the guy up against the wall as we wait for the police to arrive. Unfortunately, the dude did run away when the hero looked away for a moment, and although he chased him, the dude escaped.

I like to remember this story because, despite the fact that I was robbed, I think it is proof that what some believe about city dwellers as cold, cynical people who only care for themselves (and I think there definitely is a stereotype out there about big city living), there are two people who, on that day, got involved in something they easily could have ignored. The woman who saw the man come up to the platform could have just looked the other way. And then, the man who heard what had happened and took it upon himself to go up the stairs and wrestle a man down to the ground and then bring him back down, prisoner style, certainly went above and beyond for a total stranger. It was a pretty amazing thing to witness, in retrospect.

Labels: Hubby, Learn More Every Day, Tales

So, what do you think?

Ok, now get out of your Google reader or bloglines or whatever you’re using and get over here!

Now . . . what do you think?

It was time for a new ‘do, wouldn’t ya say? Huge thanks to the wonderful and talented Jo-Lynne, writer of Musings of a Housewife and owner of DCR Design, for the perfect banner. She was fun to work with, patient with my nit pickiness, and quite speedy, I must say. And yes, I will miss my boys greeting me at the top every time I look at my site, but I thought it was about time that the banner have more connection to the blog name. Also, after having several people tell me that white on a black background is hard to read, I realized it was time to let go, despite the fact that I always liked how photos looked on the black (if yours still has a black background hit refresh on your computer). I hope this is easier on the eyes, since it’s not like I’m known for my really short posts around here.

We’re still tweaking with colors and so forth (we being the Hubby and I), so if you notice anything weird please let me know. I’m happy though. Ah, blogging. Blogging is fun, huh?

Labels: Bloggy Stuff - Memes/Links/Business