We All Have A Lot To Say About Dumbo’s Mom
Today was the second day since October that school drop off was without a major meltdown. Sam has been horribly upset every school day since I last wrote about this. I was always assured by his teachers that he was fine as soon as I left, often before I was even out of the building, and that’s what kept me pressing on. Upon pick-up he was always happy and told me he had a great day at school. So it really was about that separation from me.
Some time last week it started to feel like his meltdowns were really out of habit. I can’t explain why, but they felt a bit less genuine. And the anxiety around school diminished. He would only get upset when it was actually time to put his shoes on and go. Once in the classroom I could see that he wanted to go and join the other kids. But it was like he felt he was supposed to be upset, so he was. Hard to explain.
But sure enough, last Friday he was averse to going from the house, but once he got into the classroom he joined one of his friends and looked up and said “Bye Mommy!” I ran like hell. And today was the same thing. So things seem to be looking up.
I’m talking more about movies that feature children being separated from their parents over at Imperfect Parent today. And I know ya’ll love complaining about talking about movies, so head on over and add to my list of children’s films that bank on the loss of a parent, and then tell me, what is up with that?
I also just saw this wonderful post from Nicole on a very related topic. But hers is lovely and gooey and touching. Go read it and then go and give your babes a hug.
And THEN, go check out this awesome article from Time on the top ten best and worst moms ever. Included among the best are Dumbo’s mom and Whistler’s Mother. Among the worst are Gertrude and Mrs. Robinson. Awesome.
So there, that should take care of your afternoon. Go forth and read, you best of moms.
I had a kid in the nursery a few years ago who had cried EVERY Sunday since she was TINY. I am 99% that by the end of it — when she was about 2 1/2 — it was out of habit. I don’t think infants can manipulate, but by the time they’re a little older, yes… for sure. She got too hysterical and her parents came back. You know?
Anyway, one Sunday during her meltdown, I pulled her onto my lap and told her that her parents were in church and would stay there until it was over… that she was safe and well-cared-for… that she had a choice. She could choose to be miserable and cry or she could choose to enjoy her time in nursery and learning about Jesus while her parents were in the sanctuary learning about Jesus.
She stopped crying and went and played. She had a good time, too.
I’m so NOT saying Sam was manipulating you. But I remembered being SO relieved that this sweet not-so-much-a-baby child was old enough to reason with. Hooray.
Since Sam started school so well and was fine last year too, maybe he saw someone else crying and clinging to their mother and thought he would give it a try because he thought he was supposed to do that too. Glad the situation is improving.
That’s great that he’s moving through that stage to another. I dropped my son off for a playdate today. I was standing the doorway talking to the other mom and he said, “Go now mom!”
And I did.
Aww! thanks for the link.
And congrats on the improvements on the separation trauma. Its so hard to leave them when they are sad, but I know exactly what you mean when you say they were out of habit, I think that happens too.
I cant even think about Dumbo’s mom without getting a catch in my throat. Seriously. I am getting all choked up just typing about her.
This post was really comforting to me. My daughter had absolutely NO adjustments problems with the school (read: “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out, Mommy”) but my little guy is much more attached. It gives me hope that there WILL be hope!
Yes, that SHOULD take care of my afternoon. However, I have piles of things to do, thanks!!
The inevitable Disney death scene! I still haven’t let my daughter watch Bambi. I don’t think that I can stand it!
Glad the meltdowns are getting better.
I disagree with them that Rusty Dennis was a top 10 mother. Sure she loved her kid and fought for him - that’s what mothers do. Her selfishness and the damage and hurt that it causes her son just doesn’t fly with me and therefore she wouldn’t make my list. But The Queen Mother? Hilarious. Word.